Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | February 18, 2009

Phones in Church


Here is an old-tale, told often in Iowa. This story has been passed down from generation-to-generation with one important lesson learned at the end…

A man in Topeka, Kansas decided to write a book about churches around the country.

He started by flying to San Francisco and started working east from there.

Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes.

He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign, which read ‘Calls: $10,000 a minute.’

Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and the sign.

The pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to GOD.

The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way.

As he continued to visit churches in Seattle, Dallas, Denver, Nebraska, New York and around the United States, he found more phones, with the same sign, and the same answer from each pastor.

Finally, he arrived in Iowa , upon entering a church in a tiny town called Hartley, he saw the usual golden telephone.

But this time, the sign read ‘Calls: 35 cents.’

Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor, “Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to GOD, but in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads only 35 cents a call. Why?”

The pastor, smiling kindly, replied, “Son, you’re in Iowa now. This is God’s Country, it’s a local call.”

I know, I know…it has a certain lame-factor that can’t be argued, however, it does contain one very important morale, that we are all better off knowing…

What is the morale of this story you ask dear Faithful Reader?!

Well it’s simple, but it’s true…Iowa is freakinawesome.

Suck on that, Nebraska!!



  1. That’s great! Thanks for sharing. I already told it to everyone here at work. got a good laugh.


  2. In Boston, you don’t need a phone to call God. You can just drop into the oldest public lending library in the country and say hey, because that’s where he lives.





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