Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | February 11, 2009

Forty Years of Awesomeness

20030921_ani_w38_515.jpgForty years ago today, on February 11, 1969, Jebus decided to bless each and every one of us when he used his incredible powers and sent an angelic figure to earth to occupy the body of a human.

The vessel chosen to house that angel belongs to the one and only, Jennifer Joanna Aniston.

As my Faithful Readers, you may or may not have noticed that I’m somewhat of a Jennifer Aniston enthusiast.

Okay, perhaps “enthusiast” isn’t the right word.

Some would call me a “fan,” however, that just doesn’t seem powerful enough. I’ve heard the word “stalker” brandied about…yet something about that just doesn’t sit right with me (or my legal team).

Perhaps the proper way to define my affinity for Ms. Aniston would be to refer to me as an “appreciative observer” or something along those lines.

I mean, seriously, it’s a phrase that fits in most situations:

– I am always appreciative whilst observing her work as Rachel Green on “Friends.”
– I am always appreciative when observing her multi-faceted cinematic performances.
– I am always appreciative when observe that her lovely face has appeared on another magazine cover.
– I am always appreciative when I’m observing and/or stealing things from her garbage.
– I’m always appreciative when I observe her from the bushes outside her home.
– I’m always appreciative when I observe her calling off her bodyguards from pummeling me to death.

So yeah, I think “appreciative observer” fits.

On that note, I want to wish a very jubilant happy birthday to my lovely, to my schmoopy, to my flaxen-haired beauty, to my sweet-pea, to the single foxiest 40-year old of all-time…Jennifer Aniston. Happy Birthday, Kiddo.

(Note: If Jennifer or any members of her legal team read this, I’d be very appreciative if all ya’ll would remove at least one of the restraining orders…)



  1. you dont have a legal team.


    • …you don’t know that!


  2. Vessel?? Gross. PS: It’s Grace. 🙂


    • def: Vessel

      3. Fig.: A person regarded as receiving or containing
      something; esp. (Script.), one into whom something is
      conceived as poured, or in whom something is stored for
      use; as, vessels of wrath or mercy.

      He is a chosen vessel unto me. –Acts ix. 15.

      [The serpent] fit vessel, fittest imp of fraud, in
      whom To enter. –Milton.


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