Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | December 23, 2008

Simple Pleasures: A Big Bed

I’m a big-boy. Not like hefty–although I’m working on it–but like tall. I’m six foot three, which isn’t by any means giant, yet happens to be just big enough for me to qualify as a big-boy.

jeremiah001-smallFor any of my Faithful Readers who has yet to actually view their favorite blogger (that’s me…or should be?!) in person, I recommend picturing Gumby but with legs and arms that are even more long and goony. Also I’d throw on a big stop-sign sized noggin. With ears that could double as wings and a schnoz that small mammals may or may not live in whilst I slumber.

Anyway, given the mental image you’ve no doubt burned deep into your memory, I have a serious problem with beds. In fact, to be perfectly honest the last time I owned a bed that I fit in was when I was like 11-years old. Then somewhere in there I had a summer growth spurt where I went from like 5’2″ with no discernible facial hair to 6’3″ with no future of gaining any discernible facial hair, a set of bad knees and some of the worst posture on either side of that big ole Mississippi!!

Perhaps this isn’t a problem that too many of all ya’ll can relate with, but it’s not good stuff. Take a second and imagine that everytime you hop into bed looking for a nice peaceful slumber you find that your feet are hanging off the end and often times poking out from under the blankets. Without a doubt this is the dictionary definition of a “hard knock life.”

Then…over the past few days I received the ultimate blessing. Three straight nights on a bed built for a big-boy. This reprieve from tiny-bed-syndrome came during my recent blizzard-induced stay at the famed Kunkel-estates in Mankato, Minnesota. It was glorious…glorious, I say!!

bigbedNow I don’t know what sized bed it was. I don’t know if it was a King, Queen, Dictator or Prime Minister…what I do know is that I didn’t have to curl up into the fetal position to fit. I didn’t have to do that awkward thing where you sorta put your head in one corner and plop down all diagonally…a situation which has resulted in my rolling both off of a bed and into a wall numerous times.

Now, I’m back at my parent’s home in the frozen tundra that is northwest Iowa. As such, I’m back in the same bed I didn’t fit in for the final seven years or so that I lived here. Thus, after last night’s face-first roll into the wall, I wanted to give a shout-out to the simple pleasure of a big bed.

Here’s to you big beds!!



  1. […] Hmmmmmmm…that’s a pretty open-ended question, although it is one that I think I’ve answered in the past (with an illustration): […]


  2. […] Hmmmmmmm…that’s a pretty open-ended question, although it is one that I think I’ve answered in the past (with an illustration): […]


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