Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | December 17, 2008

Hindsight Has X-Ray Vision

Let’s be honest here folks, I’m no fashionista.


pleatherpants002No, no…I’m more of a comfort man myself. I’ll pass on wearing my expensive pleather pants most days for the comfort of my Levis. All too often I’ve been known to cast aside my designer Manolo Blahniks for the sweet respite provided for me by my Airwalks.


Well this morning—after I popped out of bed at 5am—I thought to myself, “Well by golly, I think I want a big ole dose of comfy today.”


As such, I slipped into the aforementioned Airwalks and Levis combo and sauntered out the door to find it was sleeting. I didn’t think much of it at first, but as my voyage to work continued it became increasingly more evident that my initial designs of comfort were going to haunt me.


My Levis held up just fine mind you, no doubt better than my pleather would have given the wintery mix, however, my Airwalks were another story altogether. See even though they’re super comfortable—I’d liken them to walking on pillows stuffed with clouds made only from the evaporated particles of soft water and Jebus tears—they are a tad bit worn and weathered.


omg_shoeThe traction (or lack thereof) provides me with literally no reassurance when walking on sleety-slick, slanted sidewalks with oncoming traffic. (note: my alliteration skills, still top-notch!) The laces—my third or fourth set—are tattered and often need to be retied somewhere in the range of thirty or forty times a day.


These issues I can deal with. The big problem would be the gapping holes in the heels of both shoes. In dry weather, not a problem. In the midst of New England’s first feeble attempt at winter precipitation, not so much.


On the bright-side, I did learn that my socks are super absorbent; a fact that will come in handy should I ever find myself in need of a makeshift flask at a watering hole in some acrid region of the Sahara.


In the end friends, the moral of this story is that sometimes choosing comfort over style and practicality is a fine move, however, other times it will lead to you smelling like a cross between a wet basset hound and a musty sailor for the remainder of the day. My apologies to all of my cubicle mates…


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