Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | December 16, 2008

Things That May or May Not Have Happened

Hello Faithful Readers!


I am sure many of you are curious (or at least I hope you are) to learn what happened to me following the conclusion of “Dear Diary (v.6).” To help tie up any remaining loose ends, I’ve decided to post that which followed my leaving the library on Saturday morning.


Unfortunately, I cannot guarantee the accuracy of any of my statements due to the fact that my usually quite reliable brain has been rendered into a worthless blob of goo throughout the duration of my overnight marathon.


Either way, here goes…


0012Saturday Morning


Mat dropped me off at home and I headed inside to find that Jackie and Grace had made me a big ole plate of greasy bacon. I promptly pounced and devoured every last, crispy strip of salty goodness. I do love me some meat candy!!


The gals were getting prepared to head out into the world for various tasks they need to accomplish. Jackie was looking to get her hairs cut and Grace was off to snag her new glasses.


I was all jittery and weird and spent the majority of the time ranting and raving about the glorious properties of caffeine and what a wonderful stimulant it really is. Eventually they left and I proceeded to shower, brush my teeth and get dressed.


I then headed off to work, prepared to start the final shift standing between me and sweet, sweet unconsciousness.


I took my sweet-time getting the library ready to open and readied a bunch of work to help pass the time. What struck me as odd was the vast number of students waiting to get into the library. I know I’ve ranted and raved about this in the past, but it boggles my mind as to why people would wait in our lobby for an hour or more when they could be doing work elsewhere, instead of sitting and staring at the door just waiting for me to let them in.


The Final Shift


The shift started off quietly enough. I checked in all the books that were in the downstairs book-drop and proceeded to help answer a few questions. I was surprisingly on top of my game for a dude who had essentially been up since Wednesday morning.


Then, about an hour or so into the shift it happened. The fire alarm went off. When the fire alarm goes off I have two simple duties. First—lock up the cashbox.  Second—run around the library screaming to everyone to get out. So I did both and had to put up with numerous protests regarding the evacuation of the library. Apparently MIT nerds would rather burn to death inside a building that is pretty much stocked floor to ceiling with kindling rather than set aside their studies for ten minutes just to make sure it’s a false alarm.


As if that weren’t annoying enough; as the alarm (which did turn out to be a false alarm) was going off…students bailed through all the emergency exits, thus setting off more 0021alarms that needed to be manually turned off. So I spent the next twenty minutes or so running around the library, searching for keys and turning off alarms.


Then, once I’d finally settled all that and gotten back to the desk some dude had the audacity to come up to me and say “See…I told you it was just a test…I can’t believe you made us leave.” It was at that point that I decided I should probably just grab a lighter and some kerosene and just set that little prick ablaze. Luckily for him, I’m 90% that would get me fired—thus negating my entire Overnight Death March.


I spent most of the shift sipping at energy drinks and feeling like I either wanted to puke or just start throwing things. It was an odd toss-up. I did, however, manage to beat Margaret at a game of Scrabble on Facebook. Needless to say, no part of her is feeling any pride following that humbling loss.


Near the end of the shift I started to sort of doze and decided it was time to do some binding. As such, I went ahead and bound up some journals for January.


Then just like that it was finally over….except for whatever reason, instead of going home…I was on the floor vacuuming up a bunch of paper dots from the hole-punching machine. After ten minutes or so of vacuuming I realized what I was doing and finally made my way home. Grace called to see if I was dead, but alas, I was not.


The Very Questionable Parts


When I got home I was all weird and jittery again. My body was doing these weird shakes. Apparently my limbs were still wide-awake from the caffeine, but the rest of me had pretty much shutdown. As a result, I couldn’t go to sleep. So I stayed up hanging out with Jackie and Grace. Somewhere in there, Jackie recommended that I have a beer to try and calm me down. 0031So we busted into the Natty Ice that was still lingering in our fridge.


Now, I don’t know how many of you have ever been up for like 90 hours and then started drinking…but it doesn’t take a whole lot for you to get all drunky-poo. That fact, however, didn’t keep me from drinking a bunch. Eventually playing a drinking game and then finally, ending up at the Cantab.


Here are some things that might have happened, but I can’t completely remember.


          I’m 90% sure we watched “13 Going on 30”

          I’m 85% sure there was a discussion weighing the hotness of Jennifer Garner vs. Lindsay Lohan.

          I’m 82% sure that Jackie invited over some friend who I don’t really recall in any way…for that I apologize, um, Jackie’s friend?!

          I’m 73% sure we played the ever-popular drinking game “Make Sweet Passionate Love to the Dealer.” I am not at all sure whether I won or lost.

          I’m 44% sure that I had a tequila shot at the Cantab?!

          I’m 30% sure that I tore some paneling off the wall of the men’s room at the Cantab…

          I’m 26% sure that I watched Jesus rob Jackie blind.

          I’m 7% sure that I didn’t kill anyone on my way home as I left the bar and sauntered home on my own.


That Which Followed


The next morning I woke up at like 9:30 and stumbled out into the living room to find the gals all hanging out. We watched some Friends and then they all went to brunch. I tried to sleep, but my body was flipping out and kept forcing me back away every time I’d start to doze. Eventually I passed out and got like two hours of sleep. When I woke up I called my family for our usual Sunday chat and told them all about what I’d done at which point my Mama told me I was crazy and should take better care of myself. My Pappy simply seemed impressed that I’d put myself through all that for some extra cash.


0041After I got off the phone with my parents I determined that I’d earned some serious BurgerPorn for all the damage I’d done to myself and I knew of only two places that can supply the top of the line BurgerPorn I was in the mood for…Bartley’s in Harvard Square and Tavern in the Square in Central Square. Well as it turns out Bartley’s is closed on Sundays so the Tav wins! I headed up to the Tav and pulled up a stool at the bar. I ordered a tall Miller Lite and the Smoke House stuffed burger, which essentially is a huge burger filled with bacon and cheese and then topped with bacon, cheese and BBQ sauce. I got it with some bad-ass waffle fries. It was GLORIOUS!!! Everything I’d been looking for…the treat I’d definitely earned.


Then I headed home and prepared myself for bed, with an elaborate plan to wake up at a reasonable hour (figure 10am) and then take a lengthy afternoon nap to kill time and recharge.


Whoopsie Daisy


So I woke up at 4:06pm.


I don’t know how the hell that happened. I didn’t feel like I’d been out that long, but I guess that’s just sorta what my body wanted/needed. I had a ton of really weird…and also really lame dreams.


Examples include:


005-I dreamed I kept losing at Super Mario 3.

-I dreamed I was walking around Hartley at night.

-I dreamed I ate at McDonald’s and didn’t enjoy my meal.

-I dreamed I was in some sort of war—but nothing ever happened near me.

-I dreamed I kidnapped someone, only it turned out to be Grace…and we were just driving somewhere, she hadn’t really been kidnapped at all; she was merely riding in the passenger seat.


So I spent the rest of the day sort of in an odd state of confusion and tried to remember what was real and what was fictitious from the previous five days or so, but only with middling success. Apparently being up for long periods of time can have some serious effects on a dude’s brain and ability to rememberize anything. *sigh*


So I showered up. Grace made spaghetti and meatballs. We watched some bad-ass episodes of ‘How I Met Your Mother’ and ‘Heroes’ and here I am. Back at the libraries, typing up the really boring, really non-entertaining events that have filled my time away from the libraries…


Now it’s just after midnight and I’m back in Hayden, teamed up with Roshni for my fourth and final overnight. Let the good times roll…


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