Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | December 16, 2008

Dear Diary (v.7)


Well folks, here we are, the final overnight shift for this semester. If you’ve been an avid reader…then you know this has been a relatively boring slew of overnights. In the past the nerds have been quite rambunctious, but this semester the attendance numbers have been down and with them…the excitement levels.


If you’ve been following along you’ve been witness to my rapid mental decline and have probably questioned yourself—on more than one occasion—as to why you’ve continued to simply read about my boring life.


With that thought in mind, I’m sure you’re all prepared to plow through this final installment of the “Dear Diary” series for 2008. Enjoy…


Tuesday – 12:09am


So I’ve been over in Hayden for less than 10 minutes and my brain sent a weird shockwave through my body that essentially translated to “this place makes me want to die.” I think that’s a pretty good sign?!


Tuesday – 12:16am


Maybe it’s just the way I’m perceiving things, but this place seems pretty dead tonight. Shouldn’t there be a bunch more panicked nerds struggling to cram the last bits of knowledge into their skulls before a final or something?! I’m kind of disappointed by the low turn-out this semester.


No nerds = no nerd stories! 😦


Tuesday – 12:24am


0013So, just so all ya’ll know what I’m getting myself into when I head home. The temperature in Boston today was 60 degrees. The temperature in Hartley was -3 degrees…for the high. Not factoring in the windchill that made it feel like close to 30 below. I should dig out my long undies!!


Headcount – 12:30am – 57 students


Tuesday – 12:36am


I think I’m going to get some shelving out of the way early tonight. I’m just not in the mood to sit on my ass yet. My body has essentially been dormant for the past day and a half, so I might as well get some moving in now. Oh! Another amusing thing, when Roshni and I showed up the evening crew mentioned that we needed to do some shelving—as always—and that we needed to mark it on the spreadsheet. Apparently there has been some spreadsheet that we were supposed to be keeping track of our shelving on…who knew?!


Tuesday – 12:58am


Damn, I plowed through that cart. Although there was a creepy chick in the basement who just kept staring at me the entire time I was shelving. I suppose it’s a little odd to see someone doing stacks work at darn near one in the morning, but come on lady give a dude some freedom to shelve books without being gawked at like some monkey in a zoo!!


Tuesday – 1:14am


Wow, some chick just sneezed and every nerd in the library went crazy trying to figure out the source of the noise. I guess the folks we’ve got in here tonight are focused to the hilt. On a related note, there is a bald dude sitting in the mezzanine straight out from the circulation desk. Oddly enough I’ve only seen him look up four times in the last hour, but every time he does it is when I’m looking off in that general direction and we make awkward prolonged eye-contact. It is making me very uncomfortable. He’s like a cross of James Carville and Mr. Clean.


Headcount – 1:30am – 33 students


Tuesday – 1:35am


Wow, these folks are flocking out of here fast. I guess tonight is not going to be one of those attendance boom kind of nights. On the bright-side I did overhear a nerd on the phone when doing the last headcount. He was talking to what I can only assume/hope was his mother.


“But I don’t wanna be at home for Christmas Eve…Ted and John are throwing a Christmas Eve HALO-Party!! 0022All of the guys are going to be there…”


Yes, my nerdy friend, I’m sure all of the guys will be there. They will be there in full-force with their prerequisite wine coolers and persistent virginity.


Tuesday – 1:51am


Roshni seems a bit antsy tonight. I don’t think she came fully-prepared this time. Luckily she is going to go home and crash all-day tomorrow before working her final overnight tomorrow night!!


Tuesday – 2:03am


So some dude has bounced from one computer to another for the last ten minutes or so. The sad part, he’s just trying to watch some YouTube video of George Bush getting shoes thrown at him, but none of the computers seems to want to work. This is one of the sadder displays I’ve seen in my time here.


Tuesday – 2:16am


I’ve done some thinking and I’ve determined that the word “candelabra” makes me very uncomfortable.


Tuesday – 2:23am


I had this conversation with Mat the other day, but I figure I should share it with all ya’ll…this library would be perfect for playing ultimate Frisbee or arena league football if they’d just take out all these tables and racks full of journals. Just a thought I want to throw out there for anyone who has any say in the remodeling of the libraries.


Headcount – 2:30am – 14 People


Tuesday – 2:33am


Someone left a platter of mini-cupcakes sitting alone on what appears to be an abandoned table. Logic would say this is some sort of nerd trap meant to draw someone in, only to render them unconscious via the use of diphenhydramine or something and then drag them off into the basement and perform various scientific experiments on them as a way to prepare for a particularly heinous final exam.


Granted, laced cupcake or not…if those bad-boys are still sitting there when I make the next headcount, I’m totally snagging some!!


Tuesday – 2:54am


The phone just rang and caught me off guard so much that I think I squeaked. I’d like to say I had some manly reaction…you know, like crushing the phone beneath my sledgehammer-like right hand…but no, no…I squeaked. Like a small rodent…my Mama would be so proud.


Tuesday – 3:11am


It’s amazing how quickly you can reach the end of the internet when you have this much time to do nothing but browse the web.


Tuesday – 3:21am


So every time I go upstairs to make a headcount this one guy stares at me the entire time. I think he’s trying to figure out why I’m making this perpetual loop around the library or he’s just trying to figure out why I’m so interested in where all the people have tucked themselves away to study. So this dude just came down to use one of the computers and I just kept staring at him the entire time, I figure it’s only fair. Well he noticed and then kept peeking over his shoulder at me. Within minutes we’d reached an odd crescendo in our staring war where it had just become two dudes staring at each other for no good reason and it could go no further without one of our heads exploding. As such…we both gave a solemn nod and turned away from one another.


There is peace in the land once again.


Headcount – 3:30am – 12 students


Tuesday – 3:37am


MMMMMMMM… rule!! I stole one for me and Roshni, and these things are delish!! If no one wanders back for the rest of these suckers before the night is over they might be playing the role of “Jeremiah’s Breakfast” in the next couple of hours!!


Tuesday – 3:48am


I think it’s time to gobble down this bag of beef jerky. I could use a big dose of protein right about now. Speaking of protein, I was re-reading some of my posts from my far more delirious back-to-back-to-back overnights and realized that I was chugging A LOT of SlimFast, yet no one has mocked me for it. Something about that seems horribly out of line with the people I know. That means one of two things…either no one is actually reading my blogs or they think I’m getting a little pudgy and in dire need of SlimFast. Either way, I’m not real happy about it. Although, I do have two of them in the mini-fridge here…just in case I need ‘em!!


Tuesday – 3:57am


Just a note…I can’t quit thinking about that amazing burger I had at the Tavern in the Square yesterday. I freakin’ LOVE a good burger and for the last couple months I’ve been in search of the best burgers in Boston/Cambridge. I’ve had a lot of duds and some solid burgers…without a doubt the top two are the aforementioned Tavern and Bartley’s in Harvard Square. A solid shout-out also has to go out to Charlie’s Kitchen and the Pour House and (based solely on reputation, as I’ve never been) RF O’Sullivan’s…after that it’s pretty slim pickings for a good burger. Granted, if anyone out there knows of a great burger joint hiding around let me know.


Tuesday – 4:13am


There are some noisy folks in the study room. They are laughing and taking pictures and talking about as loud as people can talk at four in the morning without having a few beers in ‘em…I’d go to tell them to shut it, but as it turns out…they’re pretty much the only folks down here. There are a few people hanging out upstairs but for the most part this place is pretty empty.


Headcount – 4:30am – 8 students


Tuesday – 4:41am


My contact is going crazy…it feels sorta like my eyeball is on fire!! Roshni just told me a heart-warming story about eye-infections…on that note, I think I’m going to go pop this thing out and rinse it off. Eeeeep!!!


Tuesday – 4:53am


Ahhh…much better. My eyeball is happy once more. To celebrate I bought some Ruffles from the vending machine. These guys are going to make my tummy very, very happy. They’re the thick-cut cheddar baked potato kind….mmmmmmmmmm!!!


Tuesday – 5:12am


0042Roshni looks like she’s ready to go ahead and pass out. Poor gal. She did not plan appropriately for this overnight. She does, however, have a Rockstar…that she brought herself…stationed at the ready in the instance that she feels a crash coming on. Although with her plan of going home and sleeping post-overnight, I don’t think ingesting a gigantic can of liquid crack will be the best move to facilitate that endeavor.


Headcount – 5:30am – 9 students


Tuesday -5:44am


Roshni just pounced on my blog to see what went down during my Friday and keeps giggling. So that’s a good sign that it’s not completely incoherent. That or she is easily amused and/or humoring me…or perhaps both?!


Tuesday – 5:58am


I don’t know why, but I’ve got a song stuck in my head that should have been stuck in my head a week ago. Sometime last week Stephanie was singing that stupid Culture Club song “I’ll Tumble 4 Ya” and now it’s in my head…why today?! Why ever?! Why Jebus?! Why?!


Tuesday – 6:09am


“You need your card, DUDE!!”  -Roshni, whilst quasi-yelling at a dude yanking on the doors. Quite amusing!


Roshni is getting delirious and it’s kind of awesome. She’s repeated the phrase “Happy Family Fun Day” about 100 times, and every time it sorta makes me get the giggles.


Tuesday – 6:18am


You know, I don’t know if this is relevant given the successes of last time, but I have yet to have any caffeine since the end of my Saturday shift. I think it was more of an accomplishment the first time around, so there are really no bragging rights this time around. On a related note: I would really, REALLY love to get a gigantic Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks right now. It’s like the one quasi-coffee drink I actually dig…and dagumpt, I am craving one super-fierce right now!!


Tuesday – 6:26am


So I’m looking out the window and there are a TON of cars moving around out there. I guess that’s one thing I’ve yet to really adjust to out here, there’s always stuff going on. In the Midwest traffic—as well as all signs of life—have pretty much died down within an hour or so after bars close. Out here it just seems like things never stop.


Headcount – 6:30am – 10 students


Tuesday – 6:34am


Roshni is eating what can only be described as a gross soggy sammitch. She prepared the thing, like twelve hours ago and it’s got tomatoes, mayo, lettuce and cucumbers on what was once toasted bread. Needless to say it’s pretty soggy and gross.


Tuesday – 6:47am


Wow, Dan “The Man” Holland is here already. Talk about bright and early. Granted, just because he’s here now doesn’t mean we get to go yet, but it’s nice to see he’s all kinds of prompt. Anyway, with the night quickly winding down I should go do some shelving. I’ll catch all ya’ll at the next headcount.


Oh and before I go get my shelving-on…I’d like to make note that the sky is getting that pretty shade of pre-sunrise blue. Let the good times roll.


Headcount – 7:30am – 6 students


Tuesday – 7:35am


Roshni seems on her last legs. Poor lil gal. Hopefully she can pass out as soon as she gets home and slumber the day away.


0051Tuesday – 7:42am


Joggers make me nervous as all hell. I mean, I get it…they want to be healthy and not die…blah, blah, blah…but come on, who in their right mind gets up at the ass-crack of dawn to slip into some spandex pants and go running?! It’s just not right on sooooooo many levels.


Tuesday – 8:00am


Well folks, we did it. We have reached the end of my final overnight shift for 2008. It wasn’t quite the adventure it has been in the past; however, watching my slow descent into a mental and physical breakdown was plenty entertaining in and of itself.


See ya’ll next time…



  1. You eat horribly. Love, you significant other.



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