Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | December 3, 2008

I (heart) My Commute

So apparently I’m one scary sumbitch.

I know what you’re thinking, Faithful Reader. “Well no, Jeremiah, you’re not scary. You’re funny, charming, well-groomed and smell of a sweet spring meadow. “

stalkingTo be perfectly honest, that’s what I thought too, however, today I found out otherwise. On another seemingly innocuous trek to work this morning I ended up following a guy pretty much all the way from my place to campus. It’s not all that weird for something like this to happen, but this dude thought otherwise.

Perhaps it was because we both took the exact same short-cuts. Perhaps it was because every time he turned around (which was like every thirty-seconds) there I was, roughly ten feet behind him. Perhaps it was because when he tried to lose me in two different parking lots I’d pop out from behind a different car at the exact same time as he did. Perhaps it was because about half-way through the walk, I got really into it and kept a completely straight-face and made like I was hiding a gun. I know, I know…that’s pretty screwed up, but come on…it was HILARIOUS!!

Eventually when we got near campus, he tried to lose me by running in front of an oncoming truck at a crosswalk. So I followed suit. Neither of us got hit, but he continued scampering until he got near a large group of people and then he stopped and stared at me and let me walk past him. As it turns out he was headed to the same place as me and I saw his reflection—now trailing me—in a window, so I stopped and pretended to tie my shoe as he passed me and then immediately stood up and started stalking behind him again.

So there I am, following this dude and more-than-likely causing him to poo in his Fruit of the Looms and then he just quits trying to act all cool and takes off in a full-on sprint, looking over his shoulder at me the entire time.

I giggled and came to work. He had a coronary and probably pulled a hammy.

I love my morning commute.



  1. This is OUTSTANDING! I got nothing to add. Just outstanding.


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