Most people just call me “Graves”…some folks at work call me “Jerry”…I hate it and they know that, thus why they continue to use it. When I’m feeling very ‘street’ I’ll go by J-Diggity or J-Dizzle. Noel calls me J-Goggle. I’m still trying to figure out why. I think I’m partial to the name “Big Country” or at least I’m all about trying it on for size. I’ve also been called the following: Gravey, Graveytrain, Graveyboat, Monkey, Sloth, Dumbass (thanks Grandma!), Boy (thanks Pappy!) and Baby (thanks Mama!)…
December 5, 1983 (Made in the ‘80s!)
Well this is mildly stalkerish…but I’m at work right now, so I’m hanging out at MIT and clearly working hard for the money…so hard for the money…you better treat me right.
…that was from a song.
6’2” or 6’3” but if I stand up straight I’m 6’8”
Blue…or as my Mama calls them “pretty, pretty blue.” Sometimes I think she wants to get me beat up.
Blonde…until it all turns gray again. *sigh*
Awesomeness…but no seriously…I am awesome.
…fine, according to about 12 websites I just checked my name means “God Will Uplift” and that my friends is why I am, in fact, the life of the party.
Um…what type of question is that…how could I possibly pick certain relatives over others? I love them all. Except for maybe Aunt Linda…she’s kind of a douche-bag and a bunch of my Mama’s relatives kinda suck too. Hmmmmm…forget it…I like my immediate family and no one else!
I met an Australian gal named Sandy at the beach and we fell in love. She was heartbroken when summer ended and she had to return home. Our last kiss on the beach is a very emotional one and we thought we’d never see one another again, but fate lent a hand – her parents decided to stay in America and she found herself attending the same school as me. But as you all know, Graves at school is different from Graves at the beach. I was the leader of the T-Birds and I had a reputation to keep up. I couldn’t be seen with just one chick! Sandy was upset and sought solace with some new friends she made – a female gang called The Pink Ladies. But her prim and proper virginal ways didn’t fit in and she soon found herself feeling all alone. However, against all odds, we managed to stay together. Then graduation came and Sandy changed in a way no one expected…
…but that’s a story for another time.
You know, there was a time when I’d just write that I didn’t watch TV beyond baseball games and I’d feel a sad little rush of pride about how I was bucking some sort of cultural norm…now I have a list of like 5 shows that I can’t miss without feeling like my life has fallen tragically off-course…*sigh*….The Office, Grey’s Anatomy, Heroes, Boston Legal, Minnesota Twins baseball, Veronica Mars, Gilmore Girls and—of course—Friends.
Mousepad? Oh come on generic survey thing, who has a mousepad anymore? Honestly, who still has a mouse with a roller-ball anymore? It’s all about the laser mouse (or would it be mice?) now-a-days….
I’m a big proponent of the windows….that is largely perpetuated by the fact that my Grand Am (jealous?) has a sun-roof…and the fact that I’m dirty-dirt cheap and don’t like to waste the gas mileage by using the AC.
Like do I believe I’m real or like do I think I’m all kinds of kick-ass? This seems a little ambiguous to me. Clearly I believe I’m real. It’s not like I’m the Easter Bunny or Big Foot or a worthwhile starting pitcher on the Yankees roster…I actually exist. And as far as believing in myself in the forum of confidence…I’m going to go ahead and say ‘heck yes’ (pardon my French) I believe in myself…I have a tendency to rock.
Milk. Some good ole fashioned Milk. Hook me up with anything between Whole and 2% and I’m good to go. Starting throwing all of these skim and vitamin-fortified things at me and I’m going to be a little skeptical about the whole thing…
Beer and Margaritas.
Cheeseburgers, Bacon, Bacon Cheeseburgers, Pulled-Pork Sammitches, Fast-Food, Hot Dogs, Chili Dogs, Chili-Cheese Hot Dogs…you know what I can save a lot of time and just tell you to assume I’m gonna like just about anything you stick in front of me.
Red, Yellow, Blue, Green
The kind that are stomped out on the cement or still in the pack, unlit. No me gusta cigarettes and/or smoking.
People laughing and having a good time. I’m what’s known as a “Good time Charlie” in country music lore. Meaning I’m the dude you’ll see wandering around cracking awful jokes at his own expense and forcing people to have another beer with the sole purpose of ensuring that everybody is having a good ole time.
A baseball field before an afternoon game. The grass was just mowed, you can smell hot dogs and chicken and burgers all cooking and you can smell the beer at the concession stands…that’s good stuff.
Getting Nailed in the Balls
…there are no witty puns to follow this ladies and gentlemen…it sucks.
I’m gonna roll with “happy” as my answer for this one. Although I was on this crazy high in the hospital after my lung surgery where I’m pretty sure I thought I was a polar bear for like an hour…that was nice too.
I enjoy the occasional adult beverage, always in moderation of course. I’m a proponent of Major League Baseball, more specifically the Minnesota Twins franchise. A rousing sporting even will often jostle my fancy, metaphorically speaking of course.
That would be the soundtrack to my life…I hear songs in my head all the time…and man do they rock the hizzy!
…rockin’ in the free-world.
It is generally not really a thought, just a loud growling noise as a struggle to get my old, crippled ass out of bed and across the room to my alarm and then I sorta stumble out into the hallway and instinctively head for the potty for my early morning pee break. In fact, I don’t think I actually register any sort of “thought” until I’ve reached the fridge and gobbled up a piece of pre-cooked bacon. I’m sure that’s a good sign.
Only if the motion involves plummeting to my death…then yes, that might make me a little queasy.
I really like my ring-tone, so usually about three or four.
Billy…it’s easy enough since I assume all children are named Billy.
Last time I checked I was pretty solid dude…
I’ll actually just go ahead and eat both. I’m not all-about making these types of life-altering decisions on an empty-stomach.
My car back home is a beautiful 2002 Pontiac Grand Am, silver, automatic, 2-door, AC, sunroof, Monsoon surround sound stereo system, rims, 64k miles, good shape, two owners, mild hail damage, great car. $10,000/OBO.
Nope, but I often put Grace is a weird headlock/sleeperhold/Tazzmission kind of maneuver that one shouldn’t really shouldn’t attempt on anything but a stuffed animal…she generally responds by elbowing me in the ribs until I wake up for break the hold. She also pushes me on the floor…a lot.
All kinds of bad-ass. Sometime in the future…perhaps all the way in the year 2000…..*IN THE YEAR TWO-THOUSAAAAAAAAAND*…I’ll have one of those cool covered decks where I can sit outside and grill up some bratwurst and burgers while sipping a beer and watching the rain and lightning…now that’s dreamin’ big!
Wow…that’s a lot of pressure. I guess if I could meet one person, it’d probably be Jennifer Aniston…for no better reason than because restraining orders were not mentioned as a qualifier for this question. Thank you loophole!
Sagittarius…the horse-dude thing.
I guess that all depends on how hot it is…wrap your mind around that little nugget of information!
…broccoli?!?! Is that a kind of sausage?
Wait…like why does this chick want my shirt? …and are we talking any girl or like my girlfriend or my Mama or a fourth cousin that I don’t really know that well?! And come on folks…let’s be honest here…you’ve all seen how I dress. No self-respecting woman would want to have anything to do with the vast majority of wardrobe, heck most dudes wouldn’t borrow my stuff. I’m officially placing this question under protest and I refuse to give a well-documented answer until the question as a whole is cleared up with the National Lame Survey Association of America.
When I get older…is this a subtle way of telling me I’m going to get fired? What do you know that I don’t survey? Who have you been talking to? Is this about the “incident” I had with one of my co-workers? Or is this about that “fire” in the break room…because it was barely even a fire…it was more like a flaming ball of warmth and cheer….but I guess if I had to pick I’d like to be a baseball guy. Either a manager or a coach or a left-fielder for the Twins or a scout or a writer or commissioner of MLB….that or an astronaut.
Blonde…rumor has it they have more fun.
It’d be a tattoo of me crying like a small-child while getting a tattoo, that ironically enough was of me crying like small-child while getting a tattoo, that ironically enough was of me crying like small-child while getting a tattoo, that ironically enough was of me crying like small-child while getting a tattoo, that ironically enough was of me crying like small-child while getting a tattoo, that ironically enough was of me crying like small-child while getting a tattoo, that ironically enough was of me crying like small-child while getting a tattoo, that ironically enough was of me crying like small-child while getting a tattoo, that ironically enough was of me crying like small-child while getting a tattoo, that ironically enough was of me crying like small-child while getting a tattoo, that ironically enough was of a puppy with butterfly on his head.
Orbit…makes dirty mouths clean!
“Follow Your Heart…”
Back home in Iowa…there are about two million posters of lovely young songstresses like Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. In Boston there is my Circle Me Bert poster and my diploma.
Well if it’s just sitting there and you’re looking at it asking that question…it’s fair game and you can expect it to be empty pretty darn quickly.
“Great Day to Be Alive” Travis Tritt
“Road You Leave Behind” by David Lee Murphy
“Our Lives” by the Calling
“Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey
“Something More” by Sugarland
“Beer in Mexico” by Kenny Chesney
“3 AM” by O.A.R.
I guess I’d kill them with kindness. Or I’d take them out drinking with me and tell them that if they could out-drink me…both in speed and quantity…that they wouldn’t have to die. That way they go out all happy-drunky-poo.
…however, if it’s Carrot Top we’re talking about then expect me to implement each and every tactic used in the Saw trilogy. F’n Carrot Top!
In theory I’m a righty, but I’m still like 84% convinced that I can be a solid pinch-hitter from the left-side. So far the only thing disputing that fact is my serious lack of pinch-hitting skill from the left-side.
Who is to say what the “right” keys really are? Come on man…let everyone choose which keys are right for them. We don’t all have to fit into some social norm and live the same life. If some people want to type with their hands on the “home row” keys…that’s fine, that’s the way it’s been forever. But if others find that they aren’t comfortable living that lie and they’d rather type with their fingers only on vowels or on letters contained in their middle-name…that’s fine too. It’s 2007 people, we should all be allowed to type however we choose without fear of backlash from others.
I’m all about eyes and smile. Two huge factors…unless of course they’re bald…then I’m gonna be blatantly staring at their shiny skull…no matter how hard I try to look away!
I’m pretty sure I’d have to be a lawn mower.
I’m I guess I’d want to be a flip-flop…b/c that way I know I’m rolling with a fun-loving crowd—probably to the beach. Unless of course it’s a shower flip-flop in the dorms. Gross. In that case I’d like to be a cleat…preferably on an all-star outfielder.
The floor. That was a dumb question.
99 = My Baseball Number from High School!!!! (how’s that for a rush of really lame nostalgia!)
I’ve always wanted a convertible…but I want something that would look really bad-ass in a car chase too. I guess a Jeep Wranger…that way if I roll during the chase I can just pop back up and keep going.
Bacon Bits or croutons:
Honestly, I can’t imagine a world where I can’t just have both…and in large quantities I might add.
Ranch. Let’s not even mess around here folks…
Do you read surveys written by tall goony Dutchmen? Point made…
Um…I bought it at the dollar store, it’s a real-brand though. It’s in an orange bottle…um…I’m not really sure what it’s called though. I think it’s like Suave or something like that.
Have you ever been skinny dipping:
Sometimes, but always meant in good spirits, usually it’s mutual. Although I’m sure I’ve made fun of people all prick-like before and I feel really bad about that. I like to think I’m a pretty good guy, but I know I can be a dick too…so hopefully I’ve got the whole “just kidding” thing down and people know I’m not a huge D-Bag!
Pile those suckers up! I usually need at least two to be able to sleep at all. However, I have found that if I’ve been drinking I usually can’t tell the difference between a pillow and a box of Cap’n Crunch…but in most situations…two pillows.
Hartley, IA – Tom S. Katt
Mankato, MN – Merry and Pippin Kunkel
Boston, MA – Ryan Gray
Loud and Not Sucky…
Playing Sports, Watching Sports, Reading, Writing, Video Games, Consumption of Adult Beverages, Being Awesome, Walking Around Boston, Travel, Eating
Wow…now this, my friends, is a tough question, but here goes…top 10.
10) Panther Ale
9) Killian’s Irish Red
8) Coors Light
7) Bud Light
6) Miller Lite
5) Michelob Golden Light
3) Sam Adams Light
2) Sam Adams Summer Ale
1) Sam Adams OctoberFest
-“Six-Pack Summer” by Phil Vassar
-“Beer in Mexico” by Kenny Chesney
-“Home” by Chris Daughtry
-“Big Girls Don’t Cry” by Fergie
English or Journalism and history was kinda fun…oh and the PE classes rocked!
Hmmmmmm…also not a real easy one. I guess my high school graduation speech was pretty gratifying…it was a very TV-sitcom kind of moment. But I felt pretty darn good when I waltzed across stage to get my diploma at my college graduation…that one’s pretty high up there too.
John Kunkel…always has been, always will be.
Um…I little fatigued and I think I pulled a calf early in the second half of the survey, but all-in-all it was a good effort and I think the survey deserves a lot of credit for keeping me on my toes for the last two and a half hours and of course, I’ve gotta thank God and my Mama…