Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | December 28, 2005

Goodnight Billy…

Just a thought I had the other night following an entire day of little wipper-snappers crying and screaming and yelling at Grandmama’s place. So I thought to myself, what’s a good way to deal with annoying little children and well…here’s what I came up with…


Here’s a good way to provide a little entertainment for young children when you tuck them in at night, and the same time, stimulate their imaginations.


“I just came up to say goodnight and tuck you in, Billy. You had a big day, so make sure you get a good night’s sleep. And don’t forget to watch out for the Boogie Man. Remember what Mommy and I told you about the Boogie Man? How he kills little boys? What do you think, Billy? Is the Boogie Man here in your room, hiding somewhere? Is he in the closet? Is he going to jump out and kill you when I leave the room? He might; you never know.”

*Proceed tucking the child in*

“Maybe he’s under the bed. He likes to hide there, too. He might claw his way through the matress and kill you. Don’t let him kill you, Billy. You know what he does? He sticks a sharp metal tube up your nose and sucks the fluid right out of your brain. It really hurts a lot. I’m going to turn out the lights now and leave you alone in the dark…all by yourself. And I don’t want to hear a peep out of you. If I hear any noise come from this room, I’m going to come back up here and beat you. Try to get a good night’s sleep.”

*Flip off light and begin closing door.*

“Oh by the way, Mommy saw a monster walking up and down the hall last night. The monster had a piece of paper in his hand with your name on it. Night-night.”

*close door*



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