Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | February 7, 2013

Great Moments in Overreaction

holy balls, y'all...it's just a little snow

I went to the grocery store tonight.

This was a mistake.

Apparently, I forgot that if there is one thing Bostonians love to do, it’s freak the hell out over impending storms.

You see, while I was going to the store because we were out of things like milk, bread, and coffee; the rest of the entire eastern seaboard went to the grocery store because “OHMYFUCKINGGODWINTERSTORMNEMOISGOINGTOMURDERUSALLINTHEFACE!!!!!

The carts and baskets were all gobbled up.

The aisles were all packed shoulder-to-shoulder.

The produce, bread, and milk were all picked over.

The people were acting like ruthless savages.

It was madness, pure madness, I tell you.

I’m lucky I made it out alive.

The worst-part, however, is that no one seemed to grasp the reality of the situation.

Check out this batshit cart I stumbled upon:

Seriously, a bag of Doritos, a can of tuna, and some Diet Coke would have sufficed.

Two days.

Two freakin’ days.

That’s how long this blizzard is supposed to be in town for; it’s going to roll in Friday afternoon with its heavy snow and crazy winds. Then it’s going to dip-out before supper on Saturday.

That’s it, yet this dude was preparing for the apocalypse.

Admittedly, this gave me a brief moment of panic where I thought “holy hell, maybe I’m not taking this thing seriously enough?!”

Then I remembered that I’m from the Midwest and it’s just a little snow.

I then bought a couple of Kit-Kats and a box of Trix to add to my storm preparation pack.

Oh and by “storm preparation pack,” I mean the case of beer I bought during my lunch break.

Bring it on, Nemo.

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Responses

  1. only a case???? you are severely under estimating this storm…. Better go pickup another case, just to be safe…..

    Like

    • I’ve got five bottles of whiskey in the house. If that plus a case of beer isn’t enough to get me through two days of snow, I probably have a whole different issue to worry about.

      Like


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