Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | August 10, 2012

Lindsay Lohan is Bad at Life

Lindsay Lohan is absolutely the worst.

When she’s not getting high, crashing cars, posing for nude pictures no one wants to see, making awful CDs, getting drunk, going into rehab, getting arrested, filming crappy movies, and/or doing some combination of the aforementioned activities, she’s just straight-up sucking at life.

Apparently that’s not enough for Lindsay anymore.

In addition to sucking at life, she’s also taken to sucking at the most basic of human interactions, like not flipping her shit on someone at a club for no good reason.

Just the other night she apparently decided to randomly pick a fight with Clint Eastwood’s daughter, Francesca at something called “Bootsy Bellows” (which I’m assuming is either a nightclub or a newspaper reporter from the Prohibition Era).

Honestly, I didn’t even think Clint Eastwood could have kids.

There are two reasons for this, the first is because he’s been 327-years-old since the 1950s and I figured it was anatomically impossible. I feel like his sperm would have turned to sawdust somewhere around the Grover Cleveland administration.

The second reason is because I just sort of assumed that each one of his sperms would tote around a teeny-tiny .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would kill every egg they encountered.

Apparently I was wrong. He can have kids.

Wait…I went off on a serious tangent here, where was I going with this?!

Oh yes! Lindsay Lohan sucks at life and tried to start something with Clint’s daughter.

Anyway, here’s how it went down according to white knights of journalism at US Magazine:

“Francesca was celebrating her birthday with around a dozen friends in a private area when Lindsay came over and started screaming that Francesca should leave,” the source says. “She was yelling ‘I’m a star, she’s a nobody, get her out of here!'”

The source continues, “One poor guy came over and tried to calm [Lindsay] down and she acted aggressively. At that point the security told her to leave and it was totally embarrassing. She is acting like some bad ’80s film star, and it is hard to watch because she needs help.”

…right?!

So apparently Lohan is spending her free time heading out to poorly-named clubs and just screaming at random Q-list celebrities now-a-days?!

I get that she’s trying to pull off some sort of ego-driven power-play, but let’s be real, if it ends with your ass getting tossed out of the club by security…you’ve failed miserably.

Not a good look, LiLo…not a good look at all.

On the bright-side, the story goes on to mention that one of her friends nearly ran down a valet dude on the way out of the parking lot too. You know, because, no embarrassing public meltdown and subsequent humbling would be complete without vehicular homicide.

Now let’s all take ten seconds to fondly remember Mean Girls and reminisce about what could have been.

*sigh*


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