Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | July 26, 2012

Nightmare Fodder: China’s Aquatic Luchadore Bandits

Is that not, like, the scariest thing you’ve ever seen?

Seriously, it’s like combining JAWS and every abduction or bank heist movie ever.

I don’t know how I feel about a world where you can be hanging out at the beach, splashing around in the water one second and the next you’ve got people just popping up out of the ocean wearing what appears to be ski masks and looking like they want to steal your soul…or your wallet…or maybe both.

The tiny snippet that accompanied the photo on China Daily implies it’s not as nefarious as it seems:

Women, wearing nylon masks, swim in the water during their visit to a beach in Qingdao, Shandong province July 6, 2012. The mask, which was invented by a woman about seven years ago, is used to block the sun’s rays. The mask is under mass production and is on sale at local swimwear stores.

Riiiiiiiiiiight.

Nothing about that seems on the up-and-up at all. I mean, if you want to protect your skin from the sun, you put on sunscreen, not a freakin’ nylon mask. That’s what bank robbers do. That’s what kidnappers do. That’s what Carrot Top probably does. Not regular people.

I’m not buying it for a second.

I can damn near guarantee you that these luchadore-looking gals moseyed right out of the water, up the shore, and into a bank for a quick heist before disappearing back into the briney deep with bags full of cash.

Be on the lookout for the aquatic, luchadore bank robbers in an ocean near you.

Scary stuff, y’all.


Responses

  1. Well, I mean, at least there aren’t really any cool stores under water…

  2. You are completely wrong. They are secretly training to be a mexican wrestler. “nachooooo”


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