Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | June 6, 2012

PSA: Meatheads are on the Loose

Citizens be prepared, meatheads are on the loose.

Meatheads (aka: muscled-up douchebags) are a special breed of male that should be treated with extreme caution.

They’re are fairly easy to spot in nature as they often walk around topless, covered in bronzer and often with their ballcaps (or visors) askew.

It’s also within the typical meathead repetoire to be on the lookout for an opportunity to engage in fisticuffs at the slightest provocation.

Luckily, someone caught a bunch of meatheads in their natural habitat (read: half-naked, at a beach) so that the rest of us can observe them interacting in the most meathead way possible, by having a splash fight and taking wild, flailing suckerpunches at each other’s heads.

If you see a meathead in the wild, do not attempt to make contact or trap the creature as they are clearly very volatile.

My advice to you is to avoid the GNC store in the mall and steer clear of any store promoting a sale on polo shirts, lest you find yourself involuntarily drawn into a similar (albeit less-splashy) situation.

This Public Service Announcement has been brought to you by Blank Stares and Blank Pages.

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Responses

  1. Is this an all males sand bar? I saw one female I assume her to be a tranny.

    • Meatheads don’t have time for chicks, man. It gets in the way of all the lifting and splashing.

  2. It’s difficult to regain your reputation as a grown man when you’re busy splashing water at someone else.

    • There not merely splashing water, they’re AGGRESSIVELY splashing.

      Nothing exudes manliness quite like aggressive splashing.

  3. Don’t forget the local gym. It is a meathead haven, as well.

    • This is true, but they tend to be distracted staring at themselves longingly in the mirror as they power-lift. This makes for a safe(ish) environment as long as you don’t do anything to break their gaze.


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