When I was a kid, I wanted to change my name pretty badly.
Jeremiah is not a really cool name to have as a kid.
No one can spell it. Most other kids can’t pronounce it. It makes most adults assume that you come from a crazy religious family or that you’re Amish or something.
Then there’s that f’n song.
Everyone—and I do mean everyone—will inevitably bring up that Three Dog Night song and think that they are the most original mofo on the planet, newsflash, it’s been done. About 30,000 times…this week.
Anyway, that turned into a bit of a rant, the point is that as a kid, I kinda wanted a new name.
As an adult, I’m totally cool with my name. I think that “Jeremiah Graves” has a pretty nice ring to it.
It would look fine in a byline for a major publication. It would look good on the New York Times bestseller list. It would look solid airbrushed on a pair of spandex tights if I eventually become a professional wrestler.
Not everyone grows into their name like I did, however, and some people still make it a point to change their name as an adult.
Here is one recent example from Boston.com:
A 23-year-old southeast Nebraska man has legally become Tyrannosaurus Rex.
The York News-Times reports that the man entered the York County courtroom on Monday as Tyler Gold and left it with the moniker Tyrannosaurus Rex Joseph Gold.
Gold says in his public filing for the change that the dinosaur’s name is cooler. He says that “as an entrepreneur, name recognition is important and the new name is more recognizable.”
Wait a minute…hold the phone…pump the brakes…you can do that?!
You can just change your name to whatever the hell you want?!
I thought I had to change it to, like, Jack Jones or Thomas Timmons or something equally boring, and perhaps slightly less alliterative.
Holy balls, y’all…if I’d know this my name would be Batman McAwesomeness right f’n now.
Man, if only I’d known that was possible. I’m so freakin’ jealous right now.
This T-Rex dude is living the dream.
Although, I suppose it’s too late for me to make this kinda move now.
I mean, I’ve set up the blog in my name. So there’s that.
Aside from some dead guy from the 1800s, I’m pretty much the only person who pops up when you Google my name.
And I’d hate to have to go through and get all of my monogrammed hankies re-stitched.
I suppose, I’ll stick with Jeremiah Graves.
How’s about all of you, if you could change your name to anything, what would it be…hit it up in the comments.