Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | April 30, 2012

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Break ups suck.

Break ups suck even worse when you’re the one who gets dumped.

Break ups suck even worse still if you’re the one who got dumped because your significant other was leaving you for another person.

Those points notwithstanding, break ups suck worst of all when the dumper gets his teeth ripped out by the scorned dumpee.

That’s exactly what happened in Poland when the dumper, Marek Olszewski, went to see his dentist—the dumpee, Anna Mackowiak—just days after the break up.

Needless to say, she wasn’t super stoked to see him. Here are the details from the Austrian Times:

“I tried to be professional and detach myself from my emotions.

“But when I saw him lying there I just thought, ‘What a bastard’ and decided to take all his teeth out,” she admitted.

After putting him to sleep with a heavy dose of anesthetic, the spurned dentist locked the door and then began plucking his teeth out one by one.

She then wrapped his head and jaw in bandage to prevent him opening his mouth and told him there had been complications and he would need to see a specialist.

Toothless cabbie Marek said: “I knew something was wrong because when I woke up I couldn’t feel any teeth and my jaw was strapped up with bandages.

“She told me my mouth was numb and I wouldn’t be able to feel anything for a while and that the bandage was there to protect the gums, but that I would need to see a specialist.

“I didn’t have any reason to doubt her, I mean I thought she was a professional.

“But when I got home I looked in the mirror and couldn’t f***ing believe it.”

Needless to say, this didn’t really work out well for anyone involved.

Mackowiak lost her medical license, obviously, and is being investigated for medical malpractice and abusing the trust of a patient which could land her up to three years in jail.

Olszewski—in addition to losing his chompers—got dumped by the gal he’d left Mackowiack for because she couldn’t be with a dude who had no teeth.

I’m sure there is some sort of moral or lesson to be learned in all of this, but at the end of the day all I can focus on is how freakin’ lucky Olszewski is.

Sure, sure…he’s going to be gumming applesauce and pudding cups for a while and he’s gonna be sleeping alone for the foreseeable future, but he’s still pretty lucky.

The dude was dumb enough to go into the office of the gal he’d just jilted and voluntarily allow her to put him under anesthesia. These kinds of stories generally end up turned into episodes of CSI or Cold Case, he should be lucky all she did was jack his teeth.

She could have killed that dude and dumped the body in the woods and no one would have been the wiser.

Sure, he ain’t going to be enjoying any corn-on-the-cob anytime soon, but at least she didn’t use the dentist chair as a chop-shop and start selling his organs all over the Black Market, right?!

That’s gotta be a win for the toothless heartbreaker, doesn’t it?!


Responses

  1. I just hope he gets some good dentures out of the settlement. The lady dentist reminds me of Jennifer Aniston in “Horrible Bosses.”

    • If the lady dentist were more like Jennifer Aniston in “Horrible Bosses” this post would have taken an entirely different tone.


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