Breading Cats and My Desire to Create an Internet Meme

I’m not entirely sure how this happened, but it seems that I missed an internet meme that is so totally awesome it makes my brain explode out my ears.

It wasn’t “planking.”

It wasn’t “Tebowing.”

It sure as heck wasn’t “Bradying.”

(Blogger’s Note: Are people really trying to make fun of the MVP quarterback with three Super Bowl rings, a multi-million dollar contract and the supermodel wife? Really?!)

The meme I missed out on doesn’t even really involve people, it is all about their pets.

…and slice of bread.

My Faithful Readers, I’m talking about “breading.”

Apparently, breading has been going strong for a while, but—because I’m clearly bad at the internet—I’d never heard of it until today.

Here’s the basic rundown for how breading works (via Gawker):

Here’s how to bread your cat:

1) Take a piece of bread (If this is your first time, use a soft white bread. Experienced breaders will use rye or even multigrain.)

2) Cut a hole approximately 1 inch larger than your cat’s head. This trips some people up. Remember: the bread has to fit around the not just the cat’s head, but it’s ears, too.

3) Gently place the bread around your cat’s head.

4) Take a picture. Post it to the official in-bread cat Facebook page.

What the shit is this?!

Can you just go ahead and turn anything into an internet meme nowadays?! Where’s the oversight on something like this?!

I feel like there should be some sort of board of directors who decide on what does and doesn’t qualify for this kind of thing. At the very least you should have to submit a written proposal with some letters of recommendation before you can get one of these things off the ground and overtaking the internet.

Now don’t get me wrong, I think this is pretty funny and since it involves cats it is pretty much right in my wheelhouse.

I’m just annoyed that I didn’t think of it. Heck, I’m annoyed I didn’t think of Tebowing or planking either.

I’m sick of being late to the party.

It’s time to cook up my own internet meme.

Here are some ideas I’ve been kicking around, lemme know what you think:

IDEA #1: The Thinker-ing

What: Basically you just pose like Rodin’s “The Thinker.”

Why (Will Anyone Care): The thing is, you do it just like the statue, meaning you’re wearing nothing but your birthday suit. I feel like that’s a good hook to really bring the people in on this one.

Where: The Thinker-ing can be pulled off just about any place that a naked person would draw some attention. Frat parties are out. Locker rooms are out. Office Christmas parties are out. Geometry lectures are totally in.

The Catch: In the end, The Thinker-ing is pretty much just naked Tebowing, so it lacks a bit of originality. There’s also the fact that you’re probably going to get arrested for indecent exposure…so there’s that?!

IDEA #2: Macarena-ing

What: You get up in front of a group—preferably at a quiet or somber moment—and bust out the Macarena.

Why (Will Anyone Care): It’s the freakin’ Macarena, baby! Who didn’t love the Macarena, right?

Where: I recommend any situation wherein dancing is not the norm. Concerts are out. Night clubs are out. High school proms are out. Funerals are in. Heck, funerals are money in a situation like this.

The Catch: The Macarena is just old enough that it could be considered “ironic” to bust it out, and we all know what that means…f’n hipsters. I could see this backfiring in a hurry. One minute you’re doing the Macarena on a conference table in the middle of a meeting at work and the next thing you know, you’re seeing a plethora of Instagram photos popping up of mustache-sporting, skinny jean-wearing hipsters pulling off some kind of #occupymacarenaing movement. No one wants that.

Hipsters ruin everything.

IDEA #3: Super Kicking

What: You super kick people in the face.

Why (Will Anyone Care): …because they just got kicked in the face and/or saw someone get kicked in the face.

Where: Anywhere the mood strikes you to do so. Church is probably a no go. Veteran’s hospitals are also not a good idea. The Special Olympics is a no as well. Stuck in a long security line at the airport, however, is an amazing time.

The Catch: There is no catch. Super kicking people is awesome. There is zero downside. Well, except that it technically probably qualifies as assault and could get you fired or arrested or something like that…but other than that, there’s no catch.

So there you have it folks, those are my three ideas.

I know that they might take a while to catch on and it is a bit hard to get a good photo of action shots like the Macarena or the super kick, but I like to think that they’re all totally meme-ready.

…right?!

Let me know what you think or if you’ve got a better idea.

And when you’re done with that, peep all these pics of breaded (or in-bread—get it?) cats.