Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | December 13, 2011

The Season of Giving…Lap Dances

I’m not normally a real big fan of strip clubs.

I’ve made this point in the past, and I stick with my original assessment.

That having been said, there is actually a pretty good reason to hit up The Admiral Theatre, a “gentleman’s club” in Chicago this week.

Beginning Monday and continuing through Saturday, the Admiral is offering a free lap dance to anyone who donates an unused, unwrapped toy.

But you won’t get extra attention if you clear off the shelves at the toy store and come to the Admiral with a big sack on your back. The limit is one lap dance per customer.

The event was launched in 2010 under the catchy title of “Lap Dances for the Needy” and was accompanied by the “12 Days of XXX-Mas” celebration that featured an—ahem—adult-version of “The Nutcracker.”

Feel free to use your imagination on that one. I can’t envision it’ll require too much work to do so.

This year the gals are adding a “Nude Pillow Fighting” event to the festivities and the strippers will be competing for the “Snow Bunny Queen” title.

Although it may seem like a big publicity stunt, last year’s event reportedly brought in five car loads of toys that were donated to area churches.

If you find yourself torn between helping needy children or funding the life of a drug-addled runaway stripper with daddy issues this holiday season, now you can do both…and all in one fell swoop.

It’s a freakin’ Christmas miracle, y’all!


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