Mitt Romney Will Not Be Getting My Vote

I’ve made it pretty clear that I’m not into politics. Not even in the slightest. It was just a few years ago that I learned liberals and conservatives were just another reference to democrats and republicans and not two completely different parties.

Granted, it’s entirely possible that’s not right either. How the hell would I know?

I still don’t know what GOP stands for and I’ve got no idea what’s up with health care reform and anything involving taxes.

For someone who majored in journalism and spends a big ole bunch of his waking hours sitting in front of a computer, I am probably the least-informed citizen on the planet.

As such, I make a lot of my voting decisions based on completely asinine merits.

That having been said, Mitt Romney ain’t getting my vote:

“I tasted a beer and tried a cigarette once as a wayward teenager, and never did it again,” Romney says in an upcoming interview with People magazine.

I get it. I do.

He’s a Mormon and their religion is totes against drinking and drugs and all that jazz, but let’s great real here for a second folks.

Does anyone really want the leader of the free world to be some dude who doesn’t know how to sit down and relax over a cold beer?

Obama rocked the beer summit as a way to settle differences and arguments and you know why? Because that’s how real people settle differences and arguments. They have a beer, they talk it out, they deal with their shit and they move on.

I’m not saying I want the President to be some kind of lush or anything, but I don’t know if I want someone running the country who doesn’t like to unwind with a cold adult beverage after a hard day on the job.

It makes me uncomfortable, like old people who don’t trust the internet, there’s just something weird about it.

Anyway, that’s my asinine reason for not voting for Mitt Romney.

I’m sure there are some “legitimate political reasons” for not voting for the guy, but I think I’m going to stick with this one, it’s an issue I can really get behind and understand.