Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | November 4, 2011

Love is a Battlefield: Taylor Swift vs Zooey Deschanel


My Faithful Readers, it has finally happened…Taylor Swift has been bitten by the jealousy bug and she’s ready to fight for my affection.

Taylor Swift has been the apple of my eye for quite some time now and if you’ve visited this blog a time or two (or three or four or five or six or seven) before, you’re well-aware of my affinity for the flaxen-haired country crooner.

Over the years this relationship has seemed very one-sided, but that appears to have changed this morning. That’s right folks, it seems that Taylor has fired her first salvo in what figures to be a vicious battle for my heart.

You see, earlier this week another of my celebrity crushes, Zooey Deschanel, announced that she was getting divorced from Death Cab for Cutie frontman, Ben Gibbard.

This undoubtedly caught Taylor’s eye as Zooey has been mentioned as the object of my affection in a previous post or two (or three or four or…well, you get the idea).

If that wasn’t enough to get Taylor’s hackles up, Zooey—knowing she was just mere days from filing her divorce papers—fired the first shot in this war of attrition affection when she showed up at game four of the World Series (undoubtedly aware I’d be watching at home) and belted the crap outta the “Star-Spangled Banner” wearing, well, this:

I know, right?!

She’s hot enough to melt your damned teeth right outta your head, ain’t she?

Anyway, now that Zooey is single and ready to mingle it seems that Taylor is a little on edge about losing the attention of her favorite goony-looking Iowan.

As such, she went ahead and posted this picture on her Facebook fan page this morning:

Taylor knows I love me some cats and she’s doing everything in her power to keep me under her spell like the crafty minx that she is.

I dig this. I dig it a lot.

We’ve got what figures to be a rapidly escalating battle for my heart going on here ladies and gentlemen. I mean, obviously that’s what’s going on.

So here we are folks, the battle is raging on and the ball is back in Zooey’s court following Taylor’s feline counter-offensive move this morning.

If Zooey wants to fire back in a big way, she should really take advantage of the McRibs’ return or maybe look into using her connections with FOX to snag me some World Series tickets or something…but I don’t want to put ideas in anyone’s head.

I’ll let the ladies figure this out themselves.


Responses

  1. I think it’s clear that Meredith is the winner in this instance!

  2. I think that Zooey is actually really awful. Her voice just really isn’t that good. And I think she might be a zombie. Have you discovered Jenny Lewis (formerly of Rilo Kiley) yet? Please look into it. Plus, I’m a sucker for redheads.

    With Arms Outstretched (Bonaroo 2008)

    I Never (album version, but with a cute fan video)

  3. This is weird, but this bootleg live copy of her performance at the Echo is my favorite album of hers, even if it’s not a real one.

    http://thecuttingroom.shelma.net/jennyA/

    I could spam your blog with Jenny Lewis all day. I have a manifesto I wrote in a Joe Tougas A&E class I can email you if you’d like…Part of it ran in the Reporter, but Derek cut out all the clever parts.

    • I love the fervor with which you’re diving into this…I’m going to give Jenny a listen and see how that treats me. I have a hard time thinking she’ll unseat Zooey, but I’m certainly intrigued.

  4. Zooey does backup on Jenny’s album, not the other way around.

    • well-played…

      • I probably took this too seriously, but I think you will actually enjoy Jenny Lewis/Rilo Kiley if you like other female indie/folk/pop vocalists.

  5. [...] couple of weeks back, I posted about the obvious turf war going on between Zooey Deschanel and Taylor Swift as the two jockey for the rights to my [...]

  6. [...] fact, if she wants to get in on the on-going battle for my affections between Taylor Swift and Zooey Deschanel, this could easily count as her opening [...]

  7. [...] shout-out to Taylor Swift—another member of the BSBP Celebrity Crush list—and given the ongoing feud between Taylor and Zooey it seems only right that I make sure they get equal treatment in this [...]

  8. [...] Swift is totally coming for me. She’s ready to win her ongoing battle with Zooey Deschanel and go fully nuclear. She’s on her way to Boston right now. I can [...]

  9. […] Readers…the ladies who currently occupy spots #2 and #3 on my celebrity cheat list and who have been feuding with one another over my affections for the better part of two years clearly reached a short-term peace accord for the common good of […]


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