Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | January 24, 2011

Cheeseburger Chronicles: Epilogue

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all-ages, we have officially reached the end of the road. That’s right, the 2010 Cheeseburger Chronicles have come to an end.

I realize that the luster likely wore off for readers pretty early on, because let’s be honest, how many times can you read about a dude eating burgers at the same handful of restaurants?!

In the end, it was a fun adventure to chart my burger domination last year. I didn’t hit the coveted century mark as I’d figured I would, but I came close. I largely fell short because I kept giving myself a mandate that I wouldn’t eat anymore burgers until I’d blogged about the ones I’d eaten previously.

Obviously, I didn’t hold true to that statute, but it definitely hampered my burger consumption down the stretch. I went through an idle period in September and October where I was largely living up to my ill-fated “no blog, no burger” decree. All of which kept me under 100 burgers on the year, but I did finish at a very respectable, artery-clogging 92 burgers on the year.

So there we have it, I’ve finally got an answer to the question that promptedthis entire series in the first place, how many burgers do I eat in a year? Well, it looks like I eat just shy of 100 burgers a year.

Unfortunately, I don’t have a worthwhile write-up and picture for burgers 72-92. My hard drive died at the end of 2010 and took all of that with it. The worst part is that I’d been working hard to get this thing updated so I wouldn’t feel guilty about plowing through burgers at an obscene rate in December to reach 100. When the hard drive died it didn’t just take all of my write-ups and pictures, it took my drive and ambition to reach the century mark as well.

As such, y’all are getting an abbreviated version that I hope you’ll still find acceptable.

As an added bonus, here are some quick rankings:

Best Gourmet/Pub Cheeseburger of 2010: Craigie Burger from Craigie on Main (Cheeseburger #075)

Worst Gourmet/Pub Cheeseburger of 2010: Cheeseburger from the Phoenix Landing (Cheeseburger #076)

Best Fast Food-Style Cheeseburger of 2010: Cheeseburger from Four Burgers (Cheeseburger #58)

Worst Fast Food-Style Cheeseburger of 2010: Cheeseburger from the Massachusetts Avenue Restaurant (Cheeseburger #14)

Best Homemade Cheeseburger of 2010: Bacon Cheeseburger cooked up by my pals Travis and Tricia (Cheeseburger #89)

Worst Homemade Cheeseburger of 2010: Cheeseburger cooked up by Cap’n Charisma himself… (Cheeseburger #32)

So there you have it folks, the end of the year rankings. Now with no further ado, here is the rundown of burgers #72-92.

Enjoy…

Cheeseburger #: 072
What: Bacon Cheeseburger
Where: My Place
When: July 24th
How (was it): This burger was good shizzle. It was of the homemade variety and had been whipped up by the one and only David Ziegler. It was glorious and made my mouth happy in all of the ways that a double cheeseburger can.

Cheeseburger #: 073
What: (accidental) Double-Junior Bacon Cheeseburger
Where: Ghetto Wendy’s – Central Square
When: August 5th
How (was it): It was a big ball of “meh.” I originally ordered a chicken sammitch as part of my–obviously unsuccessful–gameplan to not eat/order any burgers until I’d blogged about the ones I’d already eaten. Well instead of my chicken sammitch, I was given a double junior bacon cheeseburger. Let’s be honest, something like that is a sign from the Burger Gods. Granted the burger was pretty boring and bland. What can you expect though, they’re freakin’ Burger Gods.

Cheeseburger #: 074
What: Cheeseburger
Where: Collin Hayes Charity Softball Tournament
When: August 14th
How (was it): It was a generic frozen patty cooked on a grill with a piece of generic American cheese melted on it. Granted, it was the first real food I’d eaten after playing softball in the sun for the better part of an entire day. As such, it was freakin’ great. I gobbled that sucker down in like 30 seconds and probably scarred many a small child in the vicinity as they undoubtedly assumed I was some sort of escapee from a mental institution. Given how I looked–bloody, beaten, sweaty and smeared with eye black–it is entirely possible I’m on some sort of watch list.

Cheeseburger #: 075
What: Craigie Burger
Where: Craigie on Main
When: August 10th
How (was it): OH. MY. GAWD. This burger was re-fucking-donkulous. The thing was ginormous and came with a pile of awesome little fries and it was just amazing. I’ve eaten much, much larger burgers in my day with relative ease, but this sucker was just so rich and flavorful that I came very close to tapping out before I reached the Promised Land. Luckily, I held strong and finished it off. I gotta give major props to the one and only Ryan Gray for taking me out for this burger as a sort of goodbye supper before he fled for tropical wonderland of Salt Lake City.

Cheeseburger #: 076
What: Cheeseburger
Where: Phoenix Landing
When: August 20th
How (was it): It was some gross-ass, dry, crappity-crap. This annoyed me somethin’ fierce, because I used to really dig the burgers at the Phoenix. Unfortunately, they are stuck in some ever-changing menu cycle and keep f’n up everything that was once awesome about that place. After waiting like eighteen hours to get service, the food was awful and I was very, very upset. There is a very good chance that this burger could qualify for the year’s top 5 worst burgers.

Cheeseburger #: 077
What: UCheeseburger w/ extra burger sauce
Where: Uburger – Fenway
When: October 1st
How (was it): De-fucking-lish. I was out for burgers (and a ballgame) with some awesome peeps and, as always, UBurger delivered. I was a happy and full man when we left, unfortunately our game got rained out, but it meant that we could spend the evening sipping relatively reasonably priced (in comparison to Fenway) beers at a nearby pub. Great burgers. Great friends. Great beers. It all worked out a-okay.

Cheeseburger #: 078
What: McDonalds Double Cheeseburger
Where: McDonald’s – Central Square
When: October 31st
How (was it): This was my first burger from McDonald’s since the end of the embargo. Prior to that I’d only eaten (read: destroyed) McRibs from Mickey-D’s. The double cheeseburger had been my go-to on the McDonald’s menu since the creation of the dollar menu when I was in college. As such, it seemed only right that the double cheeseburger be my gateway burger back into the beefy side of McDonald’s. Unfortunately, it was dry and bland and really just kinda gross.

Cheeseburger #: 079
What: McDonald’s Cheeseburger
Where: McDonald’s – Central Square
When: October 31st
How (was it): So very disappointing. I hadn’t eaten a basic Mickey-D’s cheeseburger in probably 10-15 years. They were a staple of my childhood until I turned into a fatty and started attacking the double quarter pounder with cheese at, like, age 10. I remember that they were always so good, largely a result of their simplicity, but this one was just bland and dry and gross.

Cheeseburger #: 080
What: Morningstar Garden Burger w/ provolone
Where: Homemade
When: November 8th
How (was it): This was really way better than it had any right to be. I’ve never been much for veggie burgers, because they’re usually so bland, but this one was really, really good.

Cheeseburger #: 081
What: Bacon Cheeseburger
Where: Four Burgers – Central Square
When: November 12th
How (was it): As always, it was freakin’ glorious. It had been awhile since I’d eaten at Four Burgers and–sadly–this would be my last FB adventure of the year. Luckily, I had TPN and Grace to keep me company as I absolutely destroyed one of the finer burgers of the year.

Cheeseburger #: 082
What: Morningstar Garden Burger
Where: Homemade(ish)
When: November 14th
How (was it): Really effing good…

Cheeseburger #: 083 & 084
What: Morningstar Garden Burgers w/ provolone
Where: Homemade(ish)
When: November 22nd
How (was it): Not too shabby, until I hit the big block of frozen potato or concrete or whatever in the middle, that was a bit of a buzzkill right there!

Cheeseburger #: 085
What: McDonald’s Double Cheeseburger
Where: McDonald’s – Central Square
When: November 28th
How (was it): This was one of the rare instances where McDonald’s food tastes delicious. Occasionally, you just want a melty, cheesey, salty burger and that’s what this was. In a word: perfection.

Cheeseburger #: 086
What: McDonald’s Big Mac
Where: McDonald’s – Central Square
When: December 6th
How (was it): Disappointing, as always. I don’t know why I even wanted one, I just really, really had to have one. They’re always disappointing and never live up to the hype. Boooooooo….

Cheeseburger #: 087
What: Killer Bee
Where: Boston Burger Company – Davis Square
When: December 13th
How (was it): Really, really good. A touch overcooked and thicker than I’ve become a fan of—flat-style patties have ruined me—but overall a pretty solid burger. I definitely hope to hit those cats up a time or two again in 2011 to sample some of the other burgers on the menu.

Cheeseburger #: 088
What: McDonald’s McDouble
Where: McDondald’s – Sheldon, Iowa
When: December 20th
How (was it): Very, very bland and boring. It tasted like I was just eating melty mush. Usually there’s at least a salty, cheesy flavor. A-boooooo…

Cheeseburger #: 089
What: Homemade Bacon Cheeseburger
Where: Travis and Tricia’s Place – Estherville, Iowa
When: December 23rd
How (was it): Effffing awesome. My buddies Travis and Tricia made me this monster burger with bacon, pepper jack, avocado, onion, tomato, etc… All the fixins and it was freakin’ amazing. Every time I go home those two make me an extravagant meal, they rule.

Cheeseburger #: 090 & 091
What: Two McDonald’s Double Cheeseburgers
Where: McDonalds – Spencer, Iowa
When: December 24th
How (was it): So gross. So very, very gross. These were the greasiest things I have ever eaten. The wrappers and bag it came in were soaked through with grease, it was absolutely disgusting.

Cheeseburger #: 092
What: Homemade Cheeseburger
Where: My Parent’s Place – Hartley, Iowa
When: December 28th
How (was it): My Mama made cheeseburgers and fries one night. It was good stuff. Piled with ketchup, mayo and pickles. You just can’t go wrong.


Responses

  1. [...] hoped to get more blogging done today, but between pounding out the epic year-end recap to my “Cheeseburger Chronicles”, writing yet another entry in the “A Moment with Grace” series and updating some stuff [...]


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