Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | November 5, 2010

Writing Prompt: Boston Vice(s)

[Originally published at Pushing the Quill.]

As I bitched about yesterday our internet blows right now. Unfortunately, that means I’m using Grace’s computer and I’m going to try and keep this post rather brief.

I think you all know what that means. That’s right, folks, it’s writing prompt time.

List Five of Your Worst Vices…

Energy Drinks

I’ve sworn off energy drinks a bunch of times in the last half-decade, but the sweet (literally) mistress that is caffeine always beckons me back into her arms, no matter how hard I resist. Believe it or not, my Faithful Readers, there was a time and a place when Jeremiah Graves did not—I repeat, did NOT—imbibe in energy drinks.

That’s right friends, at one point I actually hated energy drinks. The first couple of times I tried energy drinks I thought they were overly sweetened cans of liquid death. Then along came a great idea I had for the school newspaper. I needed a story to run during finals week and decided that an “expose” of sorts on the impact of energy drinks would be a great attention-getter.

One part of my research consisted of trying out every kind of energy drink on the market (at the time) and rating them based on things like taste, can design, energy boost, etc…

There was also some legit research with doctors and other health officials and some people from energy drink companies and bartenders and stuff. The long-term impact, however, came from the first-phase of the research. I tried so many energy drinks and ended up getting hooked on ‘em.

Since then, I’ve “quit” energy drinks a number of times. At times I’ve quit for monetary reasons and other times I’ve quit for health reasons. The problem is I always find myself ankle deep in empty Rockstar and Monster cans a few months later.

Someday I’ll quit for good.

Someday.

Zombies

I’ve kinda always thought zombies were pretty cool. I remember watching zombie movies growing up and thinking it was a neat genre. I played zombie videogames and always kinda geeked out over the idea of a zombie apocalypse where the world would be ripe for looting and all that good stuff.

It was always sorta pushed to the backburner though until I read World War Z last spring. Now I’m in zombie overload and can’t get enough of ‘em. I’ve been plowing through zombie movies by the truckload, zombie comics and zombie book after zombie book.

I’d like to think I’m pretty much ready to lead a small pack of survivors in the zombie-laden wasteland that will inevitably be the United States. Huzzah!

Eating Out

I have zero patience when it comes to food, like seriously, zero. When I go to a fancy restaurant, I start to get all bouncy and jittery if the food doesn’t arrive within like five minutes. This is why fast food has always appealed to me. I go in. I order. I eat. It’s a flawless system. Well, except for the fact that the food generally tastes like bovine fecal matter, but that’s neither here nor there.

I’m also awful about leftovers, for absolutely no good reason, I really dislike leftovers (with the obvious exception of the Day After Thanksgiving Sammitch, of course). As such, I rarely bring lunch to work and eat out nearly every day. It’s a horrible vice and probably costs me a couple grand a year in total.

I’ve tried to do the bagged lunch thing a number of times, but I’m a bit of a…um…“slow riser” in the morning. I generally roll out of bed, stumble to the shower, brush my teeth, pop in my contacts, get dressed and meander to work whilst rocking out to some manly tunes. As such, there ain’t a whole lot of time for throwing a lunch together and the bagged lunch experiments usually last a week or so at best.

I hate myself for it, but much like the energy drink thing, I’m sure I’ll shake the need to eat out…someday.

The Interwebs

I am easily distracted by the interwebs. It’s almost like I’ve got adult ADD or something. The worst is when the interwebs find their way into my workday. I hate when I’m having a productive day and then I instinctively open Facebook, you know, just to take a peek.

The next thing I know I’ve wasted half an hour and then I find my way onto something like Deadspin, Hardball Talk, or—worst of all—Wikipedia and the infamous Wikipedia Spiral of Doom.

We’ve all been there, I’ve got no reason to explain to y’all how someone goes from a quick search for former Atlanta Braves starting pitcher Steve Avery and ends up wasting two hours of their life and wind up on an episode listing for a defunct cartoon from the ‘80s. We’ve all been there.

The interwebs are the devil. The damned devil, I say!

Volunteering

This one may not normally be considered a “vice” by most people, but I have a tendency to volunteer to help people with things that go far beyond what I have the time or capacity to accomplish. This happens most often at work where I want to help my peeps out with anything that requires a hand.

This often leads to me falling behind on my own stuff and/or packing my schedule to full capacity. It’s cool though, this is one of those things that although it’s a vice, I’d really rather not shake this one. I’ve always prided myself on being there for people when they need a hand and I’d really rather not lose that.


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