Why I Have a Crush on Katy Perry (or the Time I Wrote About Katy Perry as an Excuse to Google Pictures of Hotties)

In response to Lindsey’s blog entry from yesterday, I’ve decided to tell the world all about why I have a crush on Katy Perry.

I made it pretty clear in the comments section of Lindsey’s post that I’ve got a bit of a thing for Ms. Perry.

“I have a wicked-mad crush on Katy Perry…and if you think dealing with my wicked-mad crush on you is bad enough now…imagine what it’d be like if you’d become yet ANOTHER person upon whom I was crushing.

At that point, best of luck hoping I don’t kidnap you and hide you in my basement and/or hump your leg whilst in line for ice cream at Dairy Queen…one of the two.”

The reasons behind said-crush are three-fold.

1) Bitchin’ Music

This may be a point of contention for people who like to listen to music that doesn’t—well—suck donkey balls. Unfortunately, the vast majority of the music I listen to is either really old (ie: Journey), really country (ie: Brad Paisley), really Glee (ie: um…Glee), really random (ie: O.A.R.) or chicks who are really, really hot (ie: Taylor Swift, Zooey Deschanel, Carrie Underwood, and Katy Perry).

There are plenty of peeps (ie: THE Peter Norman) who would likely feel blood trickling from their ears if they spent an hour or so listening to my iPod playlist, but I dig it and I dig it hard.

I think Katy’s songs—although often really pointless and forgettable fluff—are a lot of fun and generally catchy as all hell.

For Instance Two of My Faves:

Waking Up in Vegas

Teenage Dream

02) She’s Freakin’ Awesome

Katy seems to have a serious sense of humor. I’ve read and seen some hilarious interviews with her and she just seems like she’d be a very cool person to hang out with and have a beer…or make out…or whatever.

What really won me over, however, was her appearance on Sesame Street where she had no problems making a complete fool out of herself. It is hilarious. It makes me giggle. Good stuff.

03) The Zooey Effect

I’ve got a serious crush on Zooey Deschanel.

This is not news.

This has been documented quite a few times in other places.

Most recently in sheep’s blood on the side of Zooey’s garage, but if y’all could avoid telling the police, that’d be super. Thanks!

Anywhoozle…Zooey and Katy—as you may have noticed—look just a little similar. So similar that I learned who Katy Perry was whilst Googling for pictures of Zooey. You see, there are a butt-load of websites that incorrectly had photos of Katy tagged as Zooey and vice-versa.

…and for good reason.

So, with my evidence clearly on display it’s pretty obvious that I almost have no choice but to have a crush on Katy Perry.

Let’s look at the facts:

She’s super hot.
She’s funny.
She sings catchy lil ditties.
She looks a lot like one of my other super-crazy crushes.

I didn’t stand a chance, y’all…

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