Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | September 8, 2009

Lindsay Lohan Might Get Naked…Shocking

lohan001Rumors are swirling that Lindsay Lohan has been offered nearly $1 million from the fine folks at Playboy to pose nude for an upcoming issue of the world-famous nudie mag.

Lohan was previously approached by editors at the magazine to pose naked for Playboy’s 55th anniversary issue last year for $500,000.

A year ago, Lohan turned down the offer. This time around it seems that she is giving it some serious thought.

I for one support the endeavor, not for me or any other dudes’ sakes, but rather because it is undoubtedly in Lohan’s best interest to bare it all.

Last time I checked Ms. Lohan was a wee-bit of a train-wreck and had fallen way, way, way, WAY off the radar in terms of can’t-miss celebrities.

Additionally, hasn’t she already shown the world her naughty bits for free a dozen or so times?

I figure between the Marilyn Monroe-inspired photo shoot for New York Magazine and the Paris Hilton-inspired photo shoots for the paparazzi every weekend, we’ve all seen just about everything Ms. Lohan has to see.

I can’t imagine why she wouldn’t pounce on this offer while she can.

Her career has spiraled out of control so badly that her biggest acting endeavor of late was the abysmal comedy “Labor Pains.”

For those of you who never heard about this straight-to-the-bargain-bin release, don’t feel bad…prior to it becoming the ABC Family movie of the month over the summer, no one else had ever heard of it, either.

Take a minute to let that marinate folks.

Roughly five years ago Lindsay Lohan was one of the hottest rising stars in the world. “Freaky Friday,” “Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen” and “Mean Girls” all raked in big bucks at the box-office and she was on the cover of every magazine in the country…for all the right reasons.

Fast-forward to the present and she’s a walking eulogy.

She’s been in and out of rehab who knows how many times. She’s been sickly thin. She’s dyed her hair every color under the sun. She’s partied and fought with Paris Hilton. She’s bounces back and forth regarding her sexuality.

Directors and other actors refuse to work with her because of her notoriously awful attitude and preparation for roles. Her attempt at branching out into a music career lasted all of one painful CD full of songs bitching about the rough life of a teenage megastar.

Listen up Lindsay and listen good, if you keep going on the path you’re going…in six months you’ll be lucky to find frat boys willing to offer you $50 to flash your tator tots at a backyard kegger.

This may be your last legitimate payday before your increasingly less-surprising death that will no doubt tarnish the front page of every newspaper in the country for a day or two.

Take the money, Lindsay. Use it to buy a sammitch or something.


Responses

  1. [...] the times I’ve written about Lindsay Lohan previously, I’ve always held out a glimmer of hope that she’d one day get her [...]


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