In roughly one hour, I’ll be getting on the subway.
In roughly two and a half hours, I’ll be getting on an airplane.
In roughly ten hours–unless I snag a standby flight–I’ll be back in the snowy Midwest.
That’s right, my Faithful Readers…it’s road-trip time once again. I’m in for a whirlwind week in Minnesota and Iowa. You may feel free to exude extreme jealousy at any point.
I’m quite stoked for this actually, it’ll be the second straight year where my otherwise boring and dreary post-winter, pre-spring months are broken up by a nice little jaunt to the homeland for some good times with The Boys and the family.
This morning I am getting ready to head out to the airport and catch my botched flight to Milwaukee where I can hopefully snag a standby flight to avoid spending a very long, very grueling five hours in the desolate Milwaukee airport.
Tonight, Mike and Craiggers and yours truly will be taking part in the National Fantasy Baseball Championship online fantasy baseball draft. This is the second-consecutive year I’ve entered in hopes of someday obtaining the $100,000 grand prize. If last year’s final results were any indication, I’ll have to step it up a notch this year–and never let Mike talk me out of drafting the Toronto Blue Jays ace, Roy Halladay, ever again!!
Thursday is my lone empty day on the docket. I figure I’ll try to weasel a car out of someone and spend the day eating Taco John’s and taking in all of the things I love about scenic Mankato, Minnesota. If I can’t weasel a car out of anyone, perhaps I’ll just sit at Mike’s place, drink some beers and blog all day long?!
By Thursday night Johnny and Travis will have joined the fray in Mankato and at that point I cannot guarantee the survival of anyone. Friday we figure to spend the whole day just hanging out until the rest of the crew shows up later that afternoon/evening following work and whatnot. By day’s end we should have a brood consisting of all the Kunkel-boys, two of the Graves-boys, Craiggers, Jay, Travis and some various friends from alma maters galore.
Friday evening shall be the backdrop for a second-consecutive April bachelor party in Mankato. Last year we took Craiggers out and showed him one of the best–and arguably worst–times of his life. This year we figure to do the same with Jay. The difference is this time we’ll have a much larger crew given all the aforementioned various friends who will be in attendance. As such, expect death and/or other various forms of mayhem to ensue in the usual haphazard manner.
Saturday will presumably consist of everyone else fighting hangovers whilst I giggle incessantly about how I don’t get hangovers. This will no doubt drive my friends and their throbbing brains and livers into a frenzy. It is quite possible they will rise up as one queasy unit to slay me…or I could just turn on bright lights and talk loudly to subdue them. Either way, it should be intriguing.
The rest of Saturday will include yet another fantasy baseball draft, this one for our personal league which is celebrating it’s 10th season this year. Huzzah!! I would like to assume my lack of hangover-related symptoms, coupled with my vast knowledge of baseball will give me some sort of advantage over my far less competent and hangover immune comrades. Unfortunately, history has taught me one thing…no matter how much I know, I’ll seemingly never win my own fantasy baseball league. It is a cruel, cruel irony.
Sunday morning Travis and I will be driving down to Iowa and I’ll spend all of Sunday hanging out with my family. Again, if history has taught me anything it is that my brother Eric will want to spend all-day playing videogames. My brother, G-Doggy will want to talk and/or show me the latest improvements on his house. My cat, Tom S. Katt who is nearly 7,000 years old, will take nearly the entire day to remember who I am and get comfortable with me. He will then go sleep behind the couch.
My Pappy will keep me up until nearly four in the morning chatting my ear off about everything from Barack Obama to the New York Mets to Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. No topic is off-limits. My Mama will wander around doting on me and constantly asking me if I’m hungry or thirsty or tired and will promptly do everything in her power to reverse any of those situations be it with a cheeseburger, a Coke or some No-Doze.
On Sunday, my brother Eric will also be ordering WrestleMania and is super stoked for me to watch it with him. As an only quasi-closeted wrestling fan (I know, right?!) I feel no shame in admitting to all of you that I will be watching and probably screaming like a madman.
On Monday, Mama is going to drive me back to Mankato where Craiggers, Mike and I will once again join forces to drive up to Minneapolis and meet up with Johnny and his pal Kyle. The five of us will then descend upon the Metrodome for the Minnesota Twins last home opener in the old ballpark.
With seven dollar beers and high altitude cheap seats, I am once again unable to safely say that no one will perish. Check back for later posts regarding an updated body count.
Then Tuesday morning–at roughly four in the AM–Johnny will (hopefully) wake up from his overpriced stadium beer coma and drive me to the airport to catch my 5:45am flight back through Milwaukee to Boston. At which point I currently intend to go straight from the airport back to work…unless of course this entire adventure leaves me preferring death and/or the sweet, sweet cocoon that is my bed.
Here’s to hoping I survive and/or get a chance to post a few travel updates whilst I’m away…