Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | October 30, 2008

Confessions: Hooters…

Okay, I’ve got to be honest here. This is a secret I’ve long hidden. It’s something that I’ve been quasi-ashamed to admit, because of the stigma that surrounds any guy who admits this, but here goes…

…Hooters sucks.

That’s right, I hate Hooters. Their food blows. Their service—although aesthetically pleasing—tends to be very subpar. Their prices are ridiculous. I mean seriously, for that much cash I’d be better off going to a strip club to get the real deal.

Now I realize that this may seem like blasphemy to anyone who has ever been to a Hooters with me. This is because I’ve been witnessed eating the lion’s share of a 100 wing platter, hitting on ditzy waitresses and even purchasing one of their t-shirts.

Now I realize all of these actions are tantamount to a Hooters-fan, but I’ve been living a lie and it’s time I came clean.

Sure I enjoy boobs. I also enjoy lovely young women in spandex short-shorts. I enjoy a fun environment.

The problem is I also enjoy good food. I also enjoy competent service. I also enjoy paying reasonable prices for my food.

That’s why I love Buffalo Wild Wings.

That’s right, not only do I not like Hooters…I don’t even rank it the top place to acquire the glorious amalgamation of wings, beers and sports. In my nearly twenty-five years on this planet I have had one—count ‘em one—bad experience at a B-Dubbs and I’ve had one—count ‘em one—GOOD experience at a Hooters.

Wow. I feel so much better. It’s like a weight has been lifted. I’m glad that I no longer have to live a lie. Now, I hope others will follow my lead…to any dude (or dudette) out there who thinks Hooters sucks donkey balls—hook me up with a hallelujah—you’re among friends!!


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