Did y’all ever have one of those days where something very small and innocuous sets you off?!

Well, I had one of those moments the other day when I was surfing around the interwebs for Taylor Swift videos.

Given that I’ve got no MTV or VH1—not that those channels actually play music videos anymore—or CMT, I can’t remember the last time I actually saw a music video.

That having been said, I figured it’d be kinda cool to see the official videos associated with the songs I’ve been listening to on repeat for the better part of two years.

My YouTube search for Taylor Swift went swimmingly until I found this little ditty here:

First and foremost, you gotta give the dude props. Seriously, is there a better way to win over a gal who is logically out of everyone’s league than by writing a song about how you’re obsessed with her?

I think not.

Chicks—especially famous ones—love it when dudes are obsessed with ‘em…women can’t resist that stuff.

Secondly, I find it pretty amusing that this dude is looking to make a name for himself by writing a debut song called and about “Taylor Swift.”

For those who haven’t followed Taylor’s career as closely as me and the rest of the internet’s unofficial Creepy Dude Coalition have, let me clue you in here. Taylor’s very first single was entitled “Tim McGraw” and the song pretty much put her on the map.

Thirdly, back off dude. She’s mine. I called dibs, like, forever ago. DIBS, man! Respect ‘em.

Fourthly, I followed up on this song a little, because I’m a nerd and clearly have far too much access to the internet and not enough to fill my free-time, and mostly because he claims to have first heard Taylor Swift when he was just thirteen years old:

first time i heard her we were only 13
i remember where i was when she started to sing
now that were older i just wanna be seen
hangin out talkin bout the two of us

That last fact bothered me something fierce.

Upon further reading in interviews and whatnot this guy claims he “grew up” listening to Taylor Swift.

I’m pretty sure Taylor Swift has really only been around since I moved to Boston and that boggles my mind. I haven’t even lived here for four full years yet.

Yet in that time, people have grown-up on my top country music crush (sorry Ms. Underwood, you take a close second-place) and are already writing songs pining for her hand?!

How F-ing Old Am I?!

This Tyler Dean punk got me feeling like I’m 160 years old knowing that the once-upon-a-time underage songbird I crush over is now old enough to have songs written about her…

Ugh.

F-ing kids and their music.

Earlier this week a co-worker—who has asked to remain both anonymous and Canadian—introduced me to what is probably the single greatest website of this, or any, generation.

The website is simply titled: “Selleck Waterfall Sandwich” and lives up to the hype in every single way possible.

I know that in the past, every single time I’ve watched “Mr. Baseball” or an episode of “Friends” featuring the mustachioed-marvel, I’d think to myself…“what would that sumbitch look like with a sammitch and a waterfall?!”

Now the guessing game is over.

I know EXACTLY what that sumbitch would look like with a sammitch and a waterfall.”

Thank Jebus for the glory that is the interwebs…

PS: Don’t miss out on the official Selleck Waterfall Sandwich theme song!!

Cheeseburger #016

Saturday has seemingly become my unofficial “cheeseburger for lunch” day of the week.

For like the 88th week in a row—give or take, I’m not math whiz—I succumbed to temptation and got a burger before my Saturday afternoon shift at the library.

After my last experience as Fresco’s was less-than-stellar, I’ve been a little reluctant to meander back in for another go’round on the beef-train.

I did, however, notice that the fine folks at LaVerdes in the student center recently revamped their otherwise limited menu.

Much to my delight the new menu contains cheeseburgers.

Let’s be honest, it’s not like I even had a choice…

What: Bacon Cheeseburger

Where: LaVerdes in the MIT Student Center

When: February 6, 2010

How (was it): I’ve got some seriously mixed feelings about this burger.

On one hand, it was actually pretty good. The bacon was awesome. The toppings were all fresh and reeking of awesomeness.

On the other hand, it was very meh. The burger itself was a frozen, overcooked patty of the hockey-puck persuasion. The cheese was barely melted—a HUGE pet peeve of mine—and the bun was a little, um, stale(ish).

Additionally, the burger wasn’t really, you know, warm.

It all tasted good, but it was all at room temperature. It reminded me a whole lot of eating a McDonald’s burger…(side-note: the one-year anniversary of the McDonald’s Embargo is just over a week away!!)…and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not.

I’d probably try the LaVerde’s burger again, perhaps during the week when the buns are a little more likely to be fresh and the dude make the burger is a little less likely to remind me of a serial killer.

Grace has a tendency to do this involuntary kick thing after she first falls asleep and occasionally throughout the night.

Needless to say, there have been many instances that resulted in my getting kneed in places that don’t mesh well with knees. Last night was one of those times, only last night was a little different.

Instead of the usual one and done with the knees, she hit me with a delayed-double shot, which was freakin’ awful.

The first came at like two in the morning. I was lying there and then BAM—knees to the pills and I let out a sad little whimper and rolled over for the sake of protection and so Grace wouldn’t wake up to see my sad, whiny little “I just got nailed in the stones” face.

Like ten minutes later, BAM—knees to the tailbone. I let out a yelp, like a tiny dog that was too ambitious underfoot and rolled over and said:

Cap’n Charisma: “Grace…what the hell, dude?!”

Grace replied in a string of mumbles, grumbles, and a few moderately audible words.

The official response sounding like this:

Grace: “mumble mumble mumble girls like the Holocaust and glitter pens mumble mumble mumble…”

She then rolled over and went right back to being blissfully unconscious whilst I sat on the other side of the bed in obvious pain and trying to decipher her mumblings.

This morning I asked her about it and she didn’t remember any of it, but when I told her what she said she gave a very Gracian response:

Grace: “…yeah, that sounds right. Girls do like the Holocaust and glitter pens.”

Then she went right back to getting ready for the day as though it wasn’t weird at all.

She makes me nervous.

UPDATE: Per Grace’s rather adamant request, I am forced want to clarify that Grace does not, nor has she ever, supported Nazis and/or the Holocaust. Her reference was toward Holocaust literature. Apparently girls love themselves some good Holocaust literature.

I was meandering into work this morning when I stumbled upon a group of nerdy scientist looking dudes.

These cats were discussing the need for some new machine or piece of equipment or kegerator or something. Here’s how the conversation went…

Nerdy Scientist #1: “Well a new machine or piece of equipment or kegerator will run us about $30,000…”
Nerdy Scientist #2: “Oh…well at that price maybe we should just go ahead and buy two of them, it would speed up our work.”
Nerdy Scientist #3: “We might as well get a third one, since they’re so cheap, to have around just in case something happens to the first two.”
Nerdy Scientist #2: “Ah yes, then we won’t lose any time waiting for a replacement.”

…as I sauntered passed these white coats, I couldn’t get around the fact that I make roughly $30,000 in an entire freakin’ year.

These dudes were about to drop that amount—roughly three times over—in a matter of like a two minute phone call.

*sigh*

I’ve really gotta win the lottery.

Cheeseburger #015

After eating the aforementioned “cheeseburger” at the Massachusetts Avenue Restaurant, I was able to quickly erase what is easily the worst-burger of the year thus far from my memory by sauntering into the Tavern in the Square.

A bunch of peeps from MIT were meeting up and the Tav was the destination of choice. I didn’t necessarily plan on getting a second cheeseburger that day, but once I got in there and took a cursory glance at the menu, it became apparent that I really had no other choice.

The burger is basically a cheeseburger with cheese and bacon shoved all-up-inside of it and then cooked (to perfection, mind you) with more cheese on top and then slathered in BBQ sauce.

Oh yeah…and this bad-boy came with a mountain of kick-ass waffle fries.

Tav on the Ave wins this round folks…

What: Smokehouse Stuffed Cheeseburger

Where: Tavern in the Square

When: February 1, 2010

How (was it): Look at that freakin’ burger…how could it not be awesome.

It looks that good and that’s just surface level, this bad-boy’s beauty lies below the surface.

It’s jam-packed with cheese and bacon. Come on. It doesn’t get any better than that, does it?!

I submit that it does not!

The burger was awesome. It was full of flavor and cooked to perfection.

Additionally, it proved to be quite the conversation piece. I mean it certainly didn’t draw the intrigue that an order of fried pickles would have, but it was a pretty close second on the evening.

Cheeseburger #014

So I was going through the pain-in-the-ass process of doing my laundry on Monday and after tossing my clothes in to start the wash cycle, I had roughly 45 minutes to kill.

I was trying out a new laundromat and only really knew one restaurant close by, the awesome Plough and Stars, but I wasn’t really jonesin’ to drop $10+ on lunch.

Although—random side note—if you’re ever there you should TOTALLY get the Cuban Sammitch, ‘tis freakin’ awesome.

Anywho, the next closest option was the Massachusetts Avenue Restaurant.

Now, I should have been wary based on the name alone, but with nearly an hour to kill and some serious hunger brewin’ in my belly it seemed like a no-brainer.

The service was slow. The place was very, very dirty. The food was very—um—“lackluster”…yeah, that sounds way nicer than referring to it as “shitty-ass-shit.”

In what I can only assume will shock all of my Faithful Readers…I got a cheeseburger.

What: Cheeseburger [technically]

Where: Mass Ave Restaurant

When: February 1, 2010

How (was it): It was bad. Not just like, bland or boring or not good, but legitimately bad.

After asking me how I’d like it cooked [medium, always medium] I assumed I’d get a juicy burger. Instead, I got a well-done hockey puck that tasted like charcoal.

On the bright side it had a partially-melted Kraft single on top that peeled off with the bun when I went to douse it in ketchup to make the taste bearable.

On the more amusing side, if you notice the stick-shaped fries in the picture, those are “curly fries.”

Here’s pretty much how the conversation with, um, “Flo” went when my hockey puck arrived:

Cap’n Charisma: “Um…I don’t wanna be a bother, but I ordered curly fries.”
Flo: “Those are curly fries…”
Cap’n Charisma: “Riiiiiight, but they’re not…you know…curly.”
Flo: “No, curly is the flavor.”
Cap’n Charisma: “Come again…”
Flo: “Curly is the FLAVOR. They’re curly-flavored fries.”
Cap’n Charisma: “…but curly isn’t a flavor. It’s a shape.”

…and then she walked away.

I ate the awful burger and gave her my $5 a few minutes later and walked out, well aware that I had just had my first and last experience at the Massachusetts Avenue Restaurant.

Booooooooooo!!

Cheeseburger #013

Last Wednesday I was one day removed from a full-on burger craving that had gone unsatisfied.

I’d come home from work last Tuesday night all stoked to go to Four Burgers and absolutely devour some dead cow, I just had to swing by my apartment and grab my camera to get a snapshot of the bounty I was about to receive.

When I got home I found Grace hanging out. She was supposed to be out with a friend, but the plans had been cancelled and she wanted to eat supper with me. Four Burgers would have to wait.

For those who don’t know, Grace eats about six burgers a year. To put that into perspective, I had six burgers down in the first nine days of 2010. Needless to say, burgers would not be on the agenda for a couple’s meal.

So we went and had some rockin’ food at the totally bad-ass All-Star Sandwich Bar in Inman Square, which was all good, but come lunch time the next day, it was burger or bust…

What: Bacon Cheeseburger

Where: Four Burgers in Central Square

When: January 27, 2010

How (was it): As always, Four Burgers was freakin’ amazing.

The patty was big and juicy, the bacon was crispy and delicious, the toppings were bountiful and fresh.

It’s really hard to write about Four Burgers without feeling like I’m giving them free advertisement, but I don’t give a rat’s ass, because they’re THAT FREAKIN’ GOOD.

I’ve been to Four Burgers probably 15 times or better in the past year or so and the absolute worst burger I’ve had there would fall under the “good burger” category. I’ve never had a bad burger from those cats.

Oh yeah…the fries are awesome too.

Things I Love: The movie “Groundhog Day.” It is Bill Murray at his non-Ghostbusters-finest!!

Things I Hate: Punxsutawney Phil, the demon ground-rat who always seems to curse us with six more weeks of winter. What a tool.

I don’t know what Phil can’t just toss us a bone and say that he “doesn’t see his shadow.” I mean seriously, can he really enjoy winter that much that he wants to make us all suffer through more of this crap.

I get that Phil probably gets some kind of cheap high off of performing in front of crowds, and that’s cool, but why not give the crowd some good news for a change?!

If I were there when Phil popped out of his little hole in the ground and mumbled in “Groundhogese” (WTF is that by the way?!) that we were getting another month and a half of the cold, snowy mess…I’d probably kidnap that little SOB and go make myself some Punxsutawney Phil-burgers on the ole grill.

Mmmmmmmmmm…nothing like groundhog and a good slice of sharp cheddar, right?!

Stupid, winter loving furry-assed demon!!

Boredom struck today and it struck hard.

I suppose that’s what I get for waking up early on a Monday.

In my defense, I woke up with intentions of having a very productive day.

I was going to go do laundry, go to the gym, buy some groceries and do some blogging.

Well, when I pulled myself out of bed it was raining and blowing and overall just a crappy day, which is unfortunate, because it’s like 50+ degrees out there, but the rain and wind made it pretty much unbearable.

As such, I stayed inside and did some work-outish stuff. I did some pushups and situps and all that jazz.

I blogged a whole big bunch.

Then I was without stuff to do and hit a mini-wall in my blogging.

Thus, I resorted to a great time waster/boredom killer…an internet meme.

Today’s meme of choice is one that was introduced to me by the incomparable Ryan Gray months ago.

Here’s the gist:

Name: “FAKE BAND, FAKE ALBUM”

Here’s my Fake Band, Fake Album (and the rules for making your own)

1. Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random – The first article title on the page is the name of your band.

2. Click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3 – The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.

3. Visit http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/ – The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4. Use your graphics program of choice to craft a cover, and post the result. And then ask someone else to play.

…and there you have it.

So without any further ado, here are some of the bands and albums I’ve created today (and one from last December).

Now I’m off to try and do something at least moderately productive with the remainder of my day…

Band Name: Rannstedt
Album Name: …wanting what you have
Type of Music: I get the vibe that these kids are signing some sort of alternative rock. With the frozen lake view, they’re clearly all sad about a break-up and/or impending break-up. Expect sad songs and top 40 hits galore.

Band Name: Galton Junction
Album Name: -the person you are
Type of Music: Everything about this album cover reeks of a pop group. I’ve got this odd feeling it’ll be a very happy group of Miley Cyrus clones singing songs about how they can do anything they set their mind to and how they don’t need a man to be happy.

Band Name: JustSystems
Album Name: (to lose everything else)
Type of Music: I envision a lot of angry, scream-filled rock here. I’m getting a very serious Nickelback vibe. Odds are you’ll hate every song this cats put out, but they’ll be all over the radio and odds are pretty good this guys will end up playing at halftime of the Super Bowl some day.

Band Name: interleaving
Album Name: mediocrity thrust upon them
Type of Music: Coldplay?! Yeah, Coldplay.

Band Name: 3Kingdoms
Album Name: we have been sick
Type of Music: The album cover gives off a very distinct country music vibe. The name of the album and the band, however, do not. I guess these kids could call in the “alternative rock” crowd. They’re full of pent-up teen angst and you’re gonna listen to it, dammit!

Band Name: Colorado Confidential
Album Name: for a happy tune
Type of Music: I don’t know exactly what this fits. I could see a lot of genres pulling off this name and cover. In the end, I’ll assume it’s awesome and would probably infiltrate my iPod with little effort required.